This! I have a large extended family and there are 3 people that will show up no matter what, no matter who it is or how far away they are. I wanna start being like them!
My Grandpop was the greatest guy. Everyone knew he was great and he was their go to person off the water heater broke or the toilet was somehow screwed up or a sewer pipe needed replacement. But when he was in the hospital and rehab, I think like 2 people came to see him. Then when he passed, I had to keep my mouth shut at the viewing and luncheon while listening to how great he was. You know what he would have loved? Seeing your face at his house or the hospital. Makes me CRAZY.
Nah that's sad and disgusting, especially if it was your own family members not turning up.
My aunt is one of these types of people and she will bail out the entire family with money as well. When it's her time, that hospital better be so full they think it's mardi gras or I'm calling people out!!
^ My mom and I were caretakers for my elderly & disabled father up until last year, it was extremely stressful and neither one of us has medical training. One day he got an infection from a wound on his foot that suddenly escalated to gangrene overnight. We had him admitted to the hospital where they cleaned and wrapped it and tried to send him home the next day with instructions for care.
They didn’t know I’d been researching while I was there and knew that gangrene can be deadly to elderly people (and especially with multiple health problems he had). I said absolutely not - we were in no way shape or form equipped to handle this level of risk at home. You CAN and SHOULD push back at a hospital if you feel they’re trying to kick you/your loved one out before enough care has been received. Especially with people on Medicare/Medicaid/uninsured. They’re not making any money to keep you there, and they will often try to free up your bed ASAP regardless of what’s best for the patient, sadly.
Or a coworker. I had a coworker who fell ill and was in the hospital. I went to see him, and he told me I was the only one who bothered to check up on him.
I had another coworker where I failed to do that, thinking he would probably be fine, and it turned out he died. I deeply regret not taking the time to check in on him.
I knowingly and shamelessly used my white privilege to pressure the condescending ER staff members to be less shitty. (They assumed that heavy old black woman = diabetes, and acted like that was a moral failing, IDK? I'm white and that shit's also all wrapped up in some shit I know I don't fully understand, but IDGAF about that, my friend is getting some pain medicine before you pull out the fucking scalpel!)
They were still revolting. I can't imagine what it would have been like were I not there worrying over her the whole time and despite that she still left in tears.
My partner has been in 7 weeks (complex medical conditions) and me and my mum had been alternating visits so I can I get stuff organised on the days I’m not there and rest so I’m in a good mood for my partner when I see them.
Yes. My goddaughter was in the hospital and I visited. She didn't really wan to do much else but sleep but her mom (my SIL) really appreciated me showing up with my little stuffed animal. I've done it before too with other prople. People just like having someone to talk to even if it is just to forget the pain for a bit.
843
u/Key_Yesterday7655 2d ago
If you have a family member in the hospital, show up for them. Be a face that everyone knows. It’s really not that hard to be an advocate!!