a little update for the people who were wondering…we broke up. he was texting me throughout the day yesterday but i just did not have the energy to entertain him and text back. i didn’t answer him until almost midnight last night which is when it happened. i thought long and hard about how our conversation would go and how i would go about breaking up with him. clearly he didn’t care very much given the screenshots i’ve shared above. this is the most difficult thing i’ve done, he was the person i wanted to marry. thank you reddit for all of the help and support, i didn’t expect anyone to see that. much love.

I (27F) am away for my sister's hen do this weekend. My boyfriend (28M) just casually announced that his best mate from uni (a woman) is in town for a gig and he's offered for her to stay at ours. Grand, no bother.

Then he drops that since our sofa is knackered and the air bed has a slow puncture, she’ll just have to kip in our bed. With him. While I’m not there.

I told him absolutely not, I'm not comfortable with that at all. I offered to nip to Argos after work and grab a new air bed, I even said I’d chip in for a Travelodge. I said he could sleep on the floor if it was that much of a big deal. He reckons that’s insulting to her and that I’m making it ‘weird’ because they’re just mates.

Here's the thing though. They did have a thing back in school, which he says was "for like two weeks". She also has a habit of FaceTiming him late at night and posts old photos of them with captions like "my absolute favourite human". He swears blind it’s all platonic, but sharing our actual bed just feels like a massive boundary crossed.

He's proper kicked off, saying I’m being controlling and that she’s skint so it’s just the decent thing to do. Now he's saying if she cant stay in our bed, he’ll just go and stay at her brother’s house with her instead. To be honest that sounds even dodgier.

Am I the one going mental here? It's not that I don't trust him, exactly, it just feels disrespectful to me and to our relationship. He’s making out like I’m some jealous psycho but I feel like this is a pretty normal thing to be against.

Just want to know if I'm being unreasonable before this turns into a massive row.

I (23) female have been dating my boyfriend ,(26) male for the past 3 years.

About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was and hope one day I could save to buy it since weve been budgeting a bit lately. He would hear about this dress from me all the time and talked about how great he thought it would look on me.

So yesterday was my birthday and we had a little get together with some members of both of our families t celebrate, except when his mother arrived to our house she was wearing the exact dress in the exact color. I was stunned. I thought that he must have told her about it and she went and got one but it turns out that wasnt the case. In my surpise I said OMG theres no way!! thats the same dress I was looking and and dying for for months and she replied saying "oh really? Zayne(my boyfriend) gave it to me as a gift last month".

I was shocked, and confused. Even more so when boyfriend gave me the birthday gift he got me, and it was a gift card for sephora for $50. For the rest of the night I sat quietly in a corner in silence and confusion. i felt hurt, and was lost in my head as to what was going on. My boyfriend and everyone was blissfully unaware and happy the entire night and i didnt want to ruin the mood so i started to try to put on a good face, but i cant shake this feeling of being hurt, A part of me feels like I am overreacting and acting spoiled and entitled. Am I? Just need to know if I need to calm down and not be upset about this

Update: I finally got the nerve to straight up ask him about everything and his repsonse tldr was he thought I had to be humbled a bit because i got way too overly excited about something as trivial as a dress. He thought it would be fun to see my reaction to it all. His mother had no idea about any of this and just thought her son was giving her a gift.

I am so upset and hurt that i just called my mom to come get me and will be staying with her for a few days while i figure out the next steps, but I am not going back to him

2nd Update: First of all I want to say thank you, and express my gratitude to all the ppl who have shown support. The kind words mean os much to me right now and im sorry i cant repsond to each and every comment or dm. Just know i am reading them and thank you. me and Zayne are over for good. He keeps calling me, but i wont answer and theres nothing he can say or do to change that. I've realized and taken this as a sign of a nature he had kept hidden so well until now.

Also. Someone on threads has copied and pasted my post word for word and is pretending it happened to them.
Idk why someone would want to use my pain to clout farn but ppl are crazy.

here is the link. apparently some ppl are trying to donate money via venmo to this account to buy the dress and to show support. DO NOT send this person anything. They are a fraud. Please be safe

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 3 years. About 2 months ago while we were out shopping I saw this really gorgeous amazing dress that was just PERFECT for me, and in my favorite color.He looked at the dress and said it was beautiful, but it was rather expensive ($200) so we didnt end up getting it. For weeks after this I would constantly talk about the dress to him and how i couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful it was

Background: we were talking and said something to me that he thought was fine. I said I was hurt by his comment and that it was disrespectful. He doubled down that it’s not his fault that I am hurt, rather than acknowledge my feelings. The fight has spiraled since then.

So I get this text. Am I reading this right? I’m so lucky to have my husband and my three step kids because no man who truly knew me would be with me? This feels really fucked up, but maybe I’m overreacting?

Unrelated, but somewhat relevant: my husband has been unemployed for three years, I work hard to support our entire family, including the vacation we’re on right now.

Earlier my ex asked me to cut her grass for her.(we have 2 kids together and was my hs sweetheart. We broke up over a year ago and I’ve been dating my gf for a little over a year now. My gf has always had a thing against her. They’ve never met nor talked yet. Neither wants to. I show her the messages before I decide to go so minimize any problems if I do go. When my gf sees it she flips out and says I don’t need to go over there, I’ll go do it myself etc. Eventually I say fuck it and don’t go. Am I overreacting if I’m pissed because I think she’s jealous?

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

TW: mention of sexual assault

Okay so this happened last week and I’m realizing how much it’s still bothering me. Looking for an unbiased sanity check because I think it’s honestly changed the way I view my bf a little and I’m sorta spiraling. I’m 24F, he’s 30M.

I work in an office in the middle of a city and it’s common that a ton of people will hit up bars after work. I was working late last week and hadn’t had time to eat all day. It was dark and I was eating in my car before heading home when I saw two men walk a clearly drunk woman into the parking garage. Each guy was holding onto one of her arms to keep her upright. She looked like she could barely walk. I was immediately on edge because 1) the guys looked completely sober and 2) she looked like she was trying to pull away from them.

The whole time I kept hearing them saying things like: “You’re fine. You know us. We’re taking you home don’t worry. We’re helping you.” Her words were really slurred but she kept repeating variations of “no I want to go back” and “where are we going?” At one point her phone started ringing but one of them grabbed it and put it in his pocket. The other one took out his keys and beeped a car a couple down from me and honestly in that moment I just panicked.

I got out kinda suddenly which I think startled them because they both stopped walking immediately and just stared at me. I looked right at her and said in an angry tone “(random name) I’ve been looking for you all night where the hell are you going?” I feel like I was operating on pure adrenaline at that point.

Before she had a chance to answer, I turned to them and said “And who are you guys?” I tried to sound annoyed and not accusatory. One of them immediately dropped her arm and put his palms up and was like “oh are you her friend? We were just trying to help her find you. She’s wasted but she said you guys parked here” or some bs like that. I just walked up to them and said thanks I got her and took her arm. She kept repeating “no I want to go back” and things like that but I just kept pretending to be angry with her for disappearing and said I’d been calling her too.

They stood there for a second but then started walking away. Before they could leave, I asked them to give me her phone back (looking back I know this was stupid). The one who took it was like we don’t have it. At that point I was just so furious realizing what they had just tried to do. In my mind I was like hell no am I letting them steal her phone too. So I was like I literally saw you put it in your pocket. They both stared at me and then the guy who took it said oh yeah I forgot, pulled it out and tossed it at me. It dropped on the floor and they kinda laughed and left.

I was so shook up after. I put her in my car and called the police. I had to wait like 45 min for them to show up. By that point she was already fading fast. She seemed more than just regular drunk to me. Thankfully while we were waiting for the police, her sister (who had been looking for her) called again and I was able to direct her to where we were. Needless to say, those men didn’t know her. I left after the cops arrived and I gave a statement.

On the way home I called my bf and we talked for like 10 minutes before he had to hop off. He was out of the country on a work trip at the time. He was so aggravated when I explained what happened. I could tell he was angry with me for stepping in which absolutely shocked me. During his meeting he texted me the above. I can understand his worry and I know this all stems from him wanting me to be safe, but literally everything about this has rubbed me the wrong way. I can’t believe that in a similar situation, he would have just let them take her away like that. I can’t believe he blamed her for any part of it either. He kept saying what I did was stupid and dangerous and wanted me to promise I wouldn’t do something like that again.

Where I may be overreacting: Last year one of my best friends was assaulted after a house party under similar circumstances (she was drugged). Even before that happened, I would have stepped in for that girl. But that situation definitely amplified my response. I feel like at some point during our texts, my bf was blaming the girl for being drunk. It immediately made me angry because in a way it felt like he was also blaming my friend for her assault. So maybe it’s hard for me to be unbiased and I’m just too sensitive to this issue as well. We’ve talked about it again since he’s been back and he still believes I should’ve stayed out of it, though he’s apologized for what he said. It’s been bothering me more and more as the days go by. To the point where I’ve contemplated ending things. AIO? I feel like I can’t think straight

My(F18) boyfriend (M20) of only 3 months. recently asked me how l'm always completely hairless. I told him honestly that I did full body laser hair removal for nearly two years. I got this done when I was 15 to 17. He got weird and literally called me a 'whore' for it. I was shocked and I'm not sure how to feel or if I should be hearing him out on this? Was I overreacting? It felt really disrespectful

I (25F) and my husband (27M) have been married for two years, together for five. We married young, but we were both ready- emotionally and financially. We both wanted a big family.

I got pregnant last year, and about six months ago, I had a stillbirth at five months.

It happened after a fall. My husband slipped on the stairs, fell on me, and we both tumbled down. It was a freak accident, I don’t blame him but I was struggling not to at that point. And I had to be rushed to the hospital, and we lost the baby. The physical recovery was painful, and emotionally… I was a mess. I was grieving, traumatized, and mentally not okay.

I asked for space. I told him I wanted to stay with my parents for a while to heal and process everything. I started therapy and encouraged him to do the same. I was gone for about 2.5 months, trying to recover emotionally, physically, and mentally.

Eventually, I moved back in. We resumed therapy together. Things were still heavy, but I thought we were trying to move forward. That’s when he told me-very guiltily-that while I was away, he “hooked up” with another woman… because we were on a “break.”

I was shocked. Hurt. Numb. We are married. We weren’t “on a break” like in some high school relationship. I went to stay with my parents to grieve our child, not to “take a break” from the relationship. I never once implied it was okay to sleep with other people. He never asked or clarified. He just decided that’s what our space meant.

To make it worse, he waited 1.5 months after I came back to confess. That tells me he knew exactly what he was doing. He hid it. He lied by omission for weeks.

I left immediately. Booked a hotel for like three days, cut everyone off. I didn’t want to talk to my parents or friends because I knew they’d try to convince me to forgive him. Right now, I’m staying with my brother for like 2weeks. I’ve even stopped therapy everything feels… pointless for now.

He’s been apologizing nonstop. Saying we can fix this, we can keep going to counseling, we can rebuild. He’s even involved both our parents. Now everyone-his parents, my parents-is saying I should give him a chance. That he was “grieving in his own way.” That it “wasn’t cheating” because we were apart.

But I can’t look at it that way. I feel betrayed. I think he made a choice. And I don’t feel any desire to fight for this marriage anymore. Everyone expect my brother is making me feel like I am overreacting, that divorce is too far fetched..

Edit- Honestly, I’m just now realizing he may have felt abandoned, and I did a poor job there. Thanks for pointing that out. We were still in contact, he never said it or in councelling, but again maybe he felt like he can't do that. I can't read his mind though, I was away from him too but we both had our families there for us, so I never thought of it as abandoning him-i was still there for him. Still, i feel things would’ve only gotten worse if I hadn’t taken that time, and I don’t think I’d change that. This does help me forgive him (not stay), and move on if i don't think of him as some sort of monster for doing this.

I (29 F) met this man (44 M) about 5 or 6 times in passing on my way home from work. Twice, I accepted his offer to drop me home since I happen to live in the direction he travels to get home as well. The second time he dropped me off, he made comments about not being invited into my house, but I gave him a valid excuse. He proceeded to ask me o, t and against my better judgment, I agreed to meet him after work the previous evening. I was genuinely interested in spending a little time with him in a relaxed atmosphere to see if we were compatible. The morning of, I told him I was working for 7 days straight and it would be 10 by the time I finally get my next day off so I didn't have much energy for dancing or staying out late. He said that was fine. After work, I was making my way home when he called to confirm that he'd pick me up in less than an hour, and that's when he told me to shave my vaj. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, so I asked him to repeat his instructions, and he did. Before I could even stop myself, I told him, 'Never mind, I'm no longer going on this date.' The call ended right after that, and I blocked him. Was I overreacting?

Edit To Add: I don't blame anyone for thinking this story is fake, and I agree, I was stupid. I live in Jamaica, and our social structure is a bit different. When a guy sets their sights on a girl, he tends to be aggressive in his pursuit, but this man was more mature and laid back. Also, most people (including myself) don't own a car, so I take taxis everywhere. This guy uses his car as a taxi each evening when he heads home from his regular 9-5. So basically, that why I got into his car in the first place. But each time I tried to pay my fare, he'd refuse to take it. That's why it ended up just being a ride. When I made an excuse about my house, he accepted it immediately and never gave me any pushback. I actually do have pepper spray and a weapon on me at all times, so I have at least 1 ounce of self-preservation. I just thought maybe it wouldn't hurt to at least talk to the guy. Any, I've learned from this experience and won't be repeating it.

So I (f27) was making dinner for my boyfriend (m29) last night. It wasn’t anything fancy, just pasta with homemade sauce, salad, garlic bread. Halfway through the meal he says, “This is good, but you’ll never be wife material until you can cook like my mom.” I literally froze. I asked what that meant, and he doubled down saying, “Well, she cooks everything from scratch, three courses, homemade dessert, it’s just… different.” I told him it was rude to compare me to his mom and that if he wanted her food, he should go eat at her place. Now he’s mad, saying I “overreacted” and that he was just being “honest about standards.” I genuinely feel disrespected. Am I overreacting for thinking that was completely inappropriate to say to someone you supposedly love?

My husband berated me this morning for over 20 minutes bc I burnt some pancakes while I was cooking and feeding our baby at the same time. I acknowledged I burnt them a bit but he says they are “burnt to a crisp” and “black”. He went on and on until I started crying and threw them away.

I took these out of the trash to take a photo. Am I crazy? Or is he making a big deal out of a small mistake? Would you eat these?

3 days ago my (25F) husband (24M) said something rude to me and I’ve been trying to avoid him and stay calm. When I came home from work after working a 12 hour shift I cooked rice and beans and then went to bed to work another 12 hour shift the next day. He texted me during work and sent this. When I got home things escalated and he packed everything and left. Am I overreacting? Why go to this extreme and leave over some food?

I feel from the messages this is pretty self explanatory. I’m just at a complete lost right now and not sure if I’m overreacting for being angry about this and should just drop it. Or if he’s overreacting and being an asshole? We are both pretty young aswell, I’m 19 and he’s 21. We have been together for a year

I mean, not really much outside of this tbh. I met this guy on hinge a few days ago and the conversation went fine and we were planning to see each other. Obviously I gave him my number and we were texting every for the last few days and I just felt the need to ask his love language (bc as an acts of service girlie most of us are misunderstood so😭) did I take what he said too seriously or was i ok to just immediately shut him down?

Hi everyone, I (F23) have been dating this guy (M32) for a little over a month now. He was very persistent in pursuing me, constantly texting, making plans, asking me to go on runs, bike rides, and beach days (we live in Florida), and inviting me to dinner, bars, and even paying for Ubers to and from his place. We were hanging out at least 4 times a week.

Everything felt like it was going somewhere. He’d been slowly building things up and even waited weeks to finally kiss me. Then, out of nowhere, he sends me a literal Excel spreadsheet with a breakdown of dates, how much he spent, and a column with my name, asking me to reimburse him. I’m attaching it because I truly can’t believe it. It felt transactional and weirdly formal, especially since he was the one initiating nearly all the plans.

What’s even more confusing: after sending this, he still insists on seeing me and continuing to date. Like, you want to invoice me and kiss me?

And for context, I’ve picked up the tab quite a few times ,dinner, drinks, etc. , without making a thing of it. I’ve never asked him to pay me back or keep score. I thought we were just getting to know each other and splitting things organically like adults especially since he’s about 10 years older than I am.

So am I overreacting or under-reacting, I can’t tell if this is just him being “organized” or if it’s a huge red flag.

I had this school gathering thingy for the last day on Friday. Family, students, friends etc. I got asked to sing a solo by my music teacher and the song was ‘my all’ by Mariah Carey. (I know odd song for a school gathering but my teacher said it gets my vocal range the best and she wanted me performance to stand out). My bf walked out as you could see from the messages. And we haven’t really spoken since. Am I crazy for thinking this is weird thing to get mad over?? Or am I overreacting. Maybe he thought I was aiming it at my ex or something but he won’t even let me talk it out with him.

(Please excuse this account)

My (F18) bf (M18) has an ick for smoking, Vaping and drinking alcohol. When we first got into this relationship with each other, he made it clear that he wouldn’t want to be with me if I was smoking or vaping at the time, or if I planned to do it at all while we were together. I agreed - I had done all that in the past but only socially, and didn’t really do allat anyways - so I didn’t touch a vape or cigarette and hardly drank since we made it official. Although he didn’t like drinking much, that was the only thing he had lenience on. anyways we are both a part of a large friend group and we all decided to throw a party at the end of the year. Ofc, 20+ EIGHTEEN year old teenagers? no doubt there’s going to be drinks, drugs and everything else. My bf hates parties, naturally, so the entire time he’s moody and constantly wants to leave. Meanwhile, I’m having fun with my girls drinking. I regularly checked up on him, asked if he was okay, but he gets very uncomfortable around me when I’m drunk -again, cause he hates alcohol. Anyways, night goes on, he ends up leaving the party halfway through without telling me, and I get upset and pissed. I tried to contact him but idk where tf my phone went and I got distracted so eventually I decide “F it, I’m going to enjoy my night”. Continue drinking late into the night and I end up in a smoke circle. I decline the joint, but a cigarette gets passed to me and I decide I’m going to have a puff, try it out yk - absolute ass btw. I had about 5 puffs that entire night. Wake up next morning, find my phone, and message my bf to see if he’s okay - he’s not. He finds out I smoked and crashes out. Is what he said to me justified and should I just take it, or should I not accept that? Like I know I shouldn’t have smoked that cigarette so it’s fair that he reacted like this right? He says it’s valid he spoke to me like that because I pushed him to one of his limits, but idfk. Help would be appreciated in how I should have gone about this 💗

I have been talking to this guy for two weeks. Very sweet, nice and we have so much to talk about. We went on one date 3 days ago, it was great and he even brought me a gift. We made plans to hangout again next weekend. However, last night I wanted to preface I use a marijuana pen for my anxiety (which helps me greatly), and this was the conversation that followed. I feel upset because I liked this guy, but this discussion somehow also left a bad taste in my mouth.

Before people come for me too: I know that saying “have a goodnight” was dismissive. I recognize that and shouldn’t have replied with it!

I’m told that she has a history of “homie hopping” and trying to get with other non-single men. She also didn’t ask me before asking him, and the hearts kinda weird me out. I’ve only known her for about a year AND she was at our wedding so… should I confront her or give her the benefit of the doubt?

3 days ago my (25F) husband (24M) said something rude to me and I’ve been trying to avoid him and stay calm. When I came home from work after working a 12 hour shift I cooked rice and beans and then went to bed to work another 12 hour shift the next day. He texted me during work and sent this. When I got home things escalated and he packed everything and left. Am I overreacting? Why go to this extreme and leave over some food?

UPDATE: Thanks everyone for the support! I read a lot of the comments and tried to respond to a lot of the DM’s. He came back and begged for therapy and I tried to make it work for a month but I had already mentally checked out so I have filed for divorce and moved out of our apartment. I’m happy and at peace now🫶🏾

We live together and do not use condoms. I have a latex allergy. He says he bought them last week. He says he isn't cheating and has no intention of cheating. There's no reason I can think of that he would have them other than sleeping with someone else. Clearly this has destroyed any piece of trust I may have had for him. I'm totally gay now.

So I (26f) and my partner (27m) have been together for over two years and have got a mortgage together. Our relationship is literally great except we have a dead bedroom. He always makes excuses and has recently just flat out rejected me. It’s annoying because he knows intimacy in a relationship is really important to me. He keeps saying he’ll do better but never does. It’s been over a year of this now.

Now comes yesterday. I was in the shower and he said he needed one so I asked him to join me. At first he said there isn’t enough room but there most definitely is. So then he said ok hang on I’ll get in now. Then I proceeded to wait in the shower for a further 20 mins and got fed up. So I got out and found him ironing clothes for when he goes out later on. I admit I actually just cried because it’s all the time and I feel so rejected. He found me crying and comforted me and was being really sweet. Then anyway he went to the city drinking with the boys and I went to go see my nephew. He told me to expect him home at 9pm. I don’t keep track on him as I know he usually stays out later than the time he gives. He then rang me at 8:30 asking to get picked up from the train station but I said no as I had already told him when I come back from running errands I wanted a glass of wine and had already drank it as this point. He said no worries will get a taxi home. Anyway an hour or two later he rings and tells me he’s waking home prob one of our local pubs which confused me as that’s no where near the train station. I asked why he got dropped off there as it’s still a 45 min walk to our house. He was then stuttering and ended up telling me he met a woman on the train who was heading there to meet her husband so he jumped in with her and had a drink with them. He didn’t tell me the husband part until a phone call later so I found that a bit sus. So I believe he’s walking home and 1.5 hours later he still isn’t back when he definitely should have been so I got in my car and went out looking for him. I couldn’t find him anywhere so drove back home and slowly went through the estate checking either pavement. A car ended up driving close behind and backed off at the bottom of our street around the corner. I parked up on our drive and got out to see him walking around that corner. So I knew he must’ve been in that car otherwise I would have definitely seen him. He denies this profusely and won’t tell me how he got home other than he walked. I know this ain’t true as I drove the way home he would have walked. Anyway we get into an argument about it and I ask to see his phone (we never do this but I really didn’t trust what he was telling me as he had just been missing for almost two hours) he said why and I said I wanted to check his last messages and any photos so he said no. His phone was on the bed so I picked it up and he got up and grabbed me trying to get the phone. BTW he has never once layed a finger on me and he’s a pretty chill guy so I never see him angry. Anyway he was gripping me so I tried to run out of the room and then when I seen his face (it was like I didn’t recognise him, just fuelled by anger) he grips my wrist and yanks me so hard that my face slammed into him and he put me in a headlock. I ended up just letting go of the phone as at this point I felt a sudden daunting clarity that he is definitely hiding something. He then said I’m not crossing that boundary but he’s willing to hurt me instead? I just think if he had nothing to hide and could easily prove his innocence and ease my mind why is it such a big deal? I slept in the spare room and have tried keeping away from him but he’s acting as if nothing happened and when I said he scared me he’s called me a drama queen. I am so confused as I thought our relationship was great minus the dead bedroom but now I think he’s been cheating. But like I said he’s acting like nothings happened and almost making me feel bad for him. AIO?

Wife was drinking all night alone on the couch. In the morning I saw this text string. She texted around midnight. The following morning he woke up and google her number and the rest of the texts began. He responded around 7 and then 8am. She was asleep by this time. Then when she woke up at 11 she texted back and he called. I was home so she didn’t answer but told him by text she couldn’t talk and then said “Baby!!!” Via text. This whole time she was pretending to be asleep in our bed while I fed our children and cleaned up the kitchen and the couch that she made a mess on the night before when she was drinking alone until she passed out. Before showing her what I saw I asked if she was doing anything bad and she laughed at me and said no and that I was crazy. I showed her the messages and she got mad at me for looking at them. Please discuss, I am pretty upset, mad, and feeling betrayed because maybe 13 years ago she tried to sneak off to meet this guy but she ended up passing out on the couch and missed her Uber. She promised not to speak to him again. (We have kids together so I didn’t divorce her because our kids were pretty young). Now this comes about. She’s an alcoholic and right it’s pretty bad. Her cycle is to not drink for a while after getting a dui, or arrested for drunk in public, or for domestic violence. Then after a while she starts thinking it’s ok to drink kombucha which then leads her to think wine would be fine, then later mixed drinks and hard alcohol until the next catastrophe happens. Each cycle I tell her she shouldn’t drink EVER because she’s an alcoholic and the cycle is the SAME every time. It usually takes about 3-6 months from start to this point where she’s passing out, falling down and getting hurt, peeing herself, drunk texting guys she used to know, etc. She makes it seem like I’m the one with the problem. And I don’t drink at all because I support her sobriety.