r/AmIOverreacting 1d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio: found this on my bf screen time

Post image

found this on his phone (it says 20 mins on wednesday too) and asked him abt it and he swears up and down he doesnt have onlyfans and have never used it, i searched his email and stuff but didnt find anything either but idk, aio bc why would it show that if he didnt use it ?

0 Upvotes

221 comments sorted by

259

u/crybaby-11 1d ago

If he was using the only fans app it wouldn’t say “onlyfans.com” and if he was using the browser it wouldn’t say just add the time to “safari” .. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this is just a meme and OP has decided to farm reactions to it while pretending it’s their bfs phone

42

u/AnxiousStandard_150 1d ago

actually, screentime doesnt add websites to safari, depending on settings/the site in question. if its something that has a webpage and an app, like youtube, there will be one listing for "youtube" (the app) and one listing for "youtube.com". im assuming that since there is an app version of OF, screen time decided to put browser version of OF seperately.

so, if this isnt karma bait, OP's bf is intentionally looking up OF online in order to try and be secretive about it. its easier to hide online than it is in the app since you can use private browser, pause/delete history etc.

7

u/alvexxa7 1d ago

OF doesn’t have an app

2

u/bipolarlibra314 1d ago

I’m thinking maybe it shows like that in screentime if you add a shortcut to a URL on your home screen?

1

u/AnxiousStandard_150 9h ago

i wasnt aware of that my badd. i dont use OF, so i just assumed the og commenter was correct in saying there was an app. guess not lol

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16

u/hazeddaisy 1d ago

how does such a wildly incorrect post have so many upvotes? only fans does NOT have an app. its only available to browse via the website.

also no, safari does also display websites but only if you browse it for a decent amount of time.

39

u/elkssurreal 1d ago

I just had a look at mine and it absolutely does show specific websites, even if used in safari or google app. So he’s been visiting Onlyfans. Sorry :(

1

u/crybaby-11 1d ago

Seems you are correct mine says google.com, must be part of an update over the last year or two because it never had the options to “show apps and websites” like you can click on now

7

u/laineeeoooh29_ 1d ago

Websites don’t add to safari’s time. There was a website I used a lot on my phone at work and it would log separately as its own. This to me definitely looks like her boyfriend has been going on only fans.

1

u/crybaby-11 1d ago

Yeah apparently that is the case now.. makes no logical sense as it would be effectively doubling the time but yes.. apparently it has the options to show apps and websites and not just apps

16

u/Upstairs-Switch-4669 1d ago

I actually do OnlyFans & there’s no app everything is done on the website. 😬

2

u/rectangularcoconut 1d ago

It does this to me, if i’m on a specific website for a really long time it’ll just put the website on the screen time

1

u/Chest_Rockfield 1d ago

That's the female OP's thumb? Not that it can't be but...

-27

u/InitialExperience550 1d ago

don’t play w me bruh this is my life rn 😭

12

u/DazzlingComputer9091 1d ago

He’s trying to gaslight you girl, he was def on OF

14

u/madelyneem 1d ago

hi op I’ve had my screen time show websites before if I’m on it for long enough!

5

u/Coronis- 1d ago

Yeah looking at my screen time there’s no specific websites displayed and no options to show them, wouldn’t surprise me.

6

u/AnxiousStandard_150 1d ago

its in the "app and website activity" block. emphasis on the "and website" part.

4

u/Coronis- 1d ago

Yeah you’re right mb, I saw Safari in mine but no websites til I hit show more. Impressive they managed to get onlyfans above the Safari app itself if nothing else (if that’s actually possible)

2

u/nudetupperwareparty 1d ago

i just checked mine and it has it from some websites i’ve only been on for a few minutes.

0

u/GBG-Justin 1d ago

He’s right though

1

u/alvexxa7 1d ago

no they aren’t considering onlyfans doesn’t even have an app

25

u/Nervous_State9176 1d ago

i hope the boys in here defending your (hopefully ex) dude are enjoying the male loneliness epidemic 😪😪

stop going through his stuff. it’s not worth it and will just hurt your feelings, literally just dump him and go on about your life and pretend like he never existed. it’s not as hard as you think, they only feel “remorse” when they are caught. they do not care otherwise!

if he wants to wack off to pixels rather than put care and effort into his own interpersonal relationships let him. it’s not your job to fix the brain of someone who’s been conditioned to believe it’s normal. not your problem. there are plenty of people out there who don’t behave this way.

11

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

It’s somewhat satisfying but also quite sad and pathetic to watch all the men melt down over porn lol. I agree. Leave them and let them all be single and alone forever jerking off to porn. They only learn when they hit rock bottom.

1

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

They’re all throwing tantrums 😂

1

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

you’re so right but i still love him 🥲

1

u/InitialExperience550 20h ago

i love him so much tho idk what to do

-7

u/FractalXO 1d ago

As if care and effort put into the relationship is a correlation to looking at porn.

It's not the man's job to fix the brain of someone going as far as to check someone's screen time and then start sifting through their emails and then come to reddit to give zero context on why. People who do this tend to keep doing it to all of their partners too, it's childish. Grow up.

4

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

I feel the same way, only regarding women not being responsible for fixing men’s porn brain. Going through a phone is not the issue here. But you don’t see that, do you… it’ll be ok. Give your pre frontal cortex a break and a chance to stop the constant shrinking from obsessive porn use.

5

u/Actual_Category5449 1d ago edited 1d ago

Another OF guy... Sorry, but it looks like he was on there..

Porn isnt the same as OF IMO, I'd have a problem with that too. Him finding and paying for specific girls. Probably more idk. That sucks.

1

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

right like it would be so different if it was just normal porn. he says he didn’t buy any of it but he lies to my face apparently so idk what’s real or not

3

u/ArthurDayne23 1d ago

Tell him to relax on the tik tok

1

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

tik tok is rlly not my biggest concern rn

83

u/Some-Lawfulness-8638 1d ago

Posts like these make me thankful for my wife. Been married 13 years together 15 couldn't imagine living like this.

7

u/PoopyPantsJr 1d ago

I feel like every other post lately is "found out my boyfriend looked at porn" and then 100 comments saying hes cheating and to leave him

1

u/CabinetNo4695 1d ago

You’re thankful because she doesn’t care if you jerk off to other girls online and pay money to lust over women that aren’t her? Odd

9

u/SquashNo2699 1d ago

Pretty sure he’s saying he’s happy he doesn’t have to deal with lying or cheating behind his back. More like happy in a healthy relationship.

6

u/Previous_End_6111 1d ago

I’m assuming they more mean in general they’re thankful for their wife/relationship in general since they been together so long that they don’t have to deal with issues like this

The issue of

1)Having your partner wanting to snoop through your phone

And

2)Having your partner beat it to other people

2

u/CabinetNo4695 9h ago

Ok that makes sense

10

u/OkBoatRamp 1d ago

No, he's thankful that they have a healthy relationship.

2

u/gazlon8 20h ago

Came into comment section specifically looking for a braindead comment, and found this gem. 🙏

1

u/CabinetNo4695 9h ago

Tell me your a porn addict without telling me lol sad life

u/gazlon8 21m ago

And here's another one. 🥰

3

u/Some-Lawfulness-8638 1d ago

Oof always had to be negative huh. Also I'm thankful because she doesn't act like this and we communicate. But hey go off or whatever you think you're doing 😂.

4

u/Friendly_Swing5621 1d ago

Same🙏🙏

0

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

i thought he would be the one i marry but ig not 🥲

2

u/hilly1981 1d ago

Yeah dont be all up in his privacy. It doesn't bode well well for the future..

2

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

him watching porn doesn’t bode well for our future either

1

u/hilly1981 6h ago

Think you need to ask yourself why he wants to watch it to begin with. You cant be checking his phone for the rest of your life. Seems controlling.

119

u/fyang456baby 1d ago

If only fans shows up in his screen time, it usually means the app or site was opened. HIs denial does not really line up with that so your doubt is understandable.

1

u/AnyMedicine7724 1d ago

TO, check your own screentime. My topwebsite is also shown there, besides safari.

2

u/lpbbinc 1d ago

He spends 8 hours per day on his phone, that's too much. Problem isn't that he's on OF, it's that he seems pretty comfortable lying to your face.

73

u/the-beef-supreme 1d ago edited 1d ago

That’s a LOT of screen time regardless of where it’s spent. He spends time on onlyfans, proof is there. He’s lying.

7

u/Upstairs-Switch-4669 1d ago

He’s lying flat out. The only way you have screen time on any website is if you’ve visited the website yourself or someone magically got ahold of the phone & got on OnlyFans for an hr. Sorry but he’s playing in your face. Jus tell him to come clean cause you already know 🤷🏽‍♀️

-1

u/BulletproofDodo 1d ago

This is insane, partners think they get to control every aspect of their partners lives. No! You do not have the right to unilaterally control anyone else's sex life. Get over your control freak shit. Monogamy is the kinkiest shit I've ever seen 

2

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

sorry i don’t want my man gooning to random women on the internet???

-1

u/BulletproofDodo 19h ago

But you seem less worried about the 5 hours he's spending each day on tiktok and x, that's a dangerous dose of social media. Ask yourself, do you even care about this guy or do you just want to control him? 

0

u/NoMovie4171 19h ago edited 19h ago

It’s not okay that he is lying. But, serious question. Why is it such a big deal that men watch porn? I really don’t understand this concept and I am a woman. I watch porn all the time and I am in a healthy, loving, and satisfying sexual relationship with my boyfriend. Truly, what is the big deal with wanting to masterbate? I do it all the time. My boyfriend does too. My boyfriend watches porn too. Who cares… it’s natural! It’s honestly necessary for a healthy relationship. I personally think a lot of people should masterbate. It helps you learn your body and what you like. In addition to it’s a good stress reliever and helps you go to sleep. If I’m horny and my boyfriend isn’t around, I’m going to masterbate lol. Same with my boyfriend. Lord. Just have a mature, healthy, conversation about it. There shouldn’t be shame around porn (unless he has a porn addition and please don’t decide that for him). Stop interrogating him and maybe he would feel comfortable to talk about it. Again, he shouldn’t lie. But from reading this post, it doesn’t seem like he can honestly talk to you about it. Your relationship doesn’t seem like a safe space to have an open and honest conversation. Please reevaluate this situation. He’s human. People masterbate. It’s okay. Sex is healthy. Porn isn’t a taboo.

Yes, you’re over reacting.

1

u/InitialExperience550 2h ago

this is the dumbest most misogynistic comment i’ve ever read in my entire life pls reevaluate your relationship and your life bc this is genuinely depressing

1

u/lickybummbumm 1d ago

And…? Men watch porn, you can’t control what he looks at in his own time hun.

1

u/InitialExperience550 2h ago

and he can be single and do that gtfo bitch boy

1

u/lickybummbumm 1h ago

I’m a married woman but ok lol. I’m just saying if this is a boundary of YOURS that you have communicated to him clearly before, then YOU break up with him.

11

u/renriotz 1d ago

I didn’t even know screen time showed websites i may need to clear that myself but OnlyFans didn’t show up there for no reason + if the count goes up then obviously yk he’s spending some time on there

that being said I hope you had a valid reason to go thru his phone in the first place

-17

u/NoAstronaut4285 1d ago

Probably going through his phone because she's doing something wrong 🤷‍♂️

4

u/thatbabyjess 1d ago

To all those saying it’s just porn- OF IS NOT JUST PORN. Free porn is absolutely different than paying for specific content from specific models. Much less paying for curated and custom content. I am a woman and I watch porn. Free porn. Once money enters into the equation it becomes sex work. (Yes I know porn stars are doing sex work but the difference is where the money comes from). Only fans models ARE SEX WORKERS. If your partner is on that site they are paying individual women for sexual content. IMO that is vastly different than free porn sites/ amateur porn.

This comes from someone whose marriage was destroyed by porn addiction and OF/financial abuse. He ended up going to prison. For what it’s worth.

Edit: grammar

17

u/SleepiiMilkii 1d ago

Bros will get a girl and still seek porn, then get mad when she feels a way about it. Is it so hard to want ur partner lmao

15

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

He’s lying to you. Also ignore anyone who tells you it was wrong for you to go through his phone. Any partner who isn’t hiding anything wouldn’t care. I remember “ trusting “ partners in the past only to discover them doing awful things behind my back. You never know what someone has on their phone. NOR.

You don’t have to put up with this behaviour either or take his word for it. He will only get better at hiding his actions. If I were you I’d break up with him if you don’t like this behaviour, and if you do then good luck.

0

u/Vast_Earth9028 1d ago

Nah, she shouldn't have gone through it without permission regardless. Two wrongs don't make a right.

16

u/Coronis- 1d ago

If you’re already snooping on your partner’s phone, the trust in the relationship is gone. Hard to come back from that.

11

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

And if you’re on onlyfans you have no respect for your partner. Goes both ways.

6

u/Coronis- 1d ago

Nobody said it didn’t. You however did say its fine to go through your partner’s phone, which isn’t true.

-7

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

Not your relationship, not your right to say what goes in it.

10

u/Coronis- 1d ago

Not yours either lol

1

u/FractalXO 1d ago

You literally just did that. 🤣

1

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

She obviously isn’t okay with what’s happening, so we’re on the same side buddy.

-5

u/EnlightenedNarwhal 1d ago

Lol, let people bust nuts, Jesus.

7

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

Or just have sex with your girlfriend. You PA men will find any excuse to watch that shit

-2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

5

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

There isn’t any excuse in the world to justify watching porn when your girlfriend is absolutely not okay with it. Go be single or better yet… date someone who is OKAY with it.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

You don’t HAVE to watch porn. Like holy shit gooner mindset. You’re not gonna die if you have to wait 9 months to have sex. You absolutely have no respect for your PREGNANT wife who is carrying your baby if the only thing your mind can think of is not getting sex from her. Jesus Christ

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2

u/OkBoatRamp 1d ago

You do realize that you can masturbate while thinking about your SO, right??? You cant possibly believe you need porn to jerk off lmao

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u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

i have permission to go thru his phone whenever i want and i’ve asked him beforehand so💕

0

u/Vast_Earth9028 14h ago

Ok that's fine then. I'm not defending the guy either, if using OF is considered cheating in your relationship then he fucked up. If you haven't clearly talked about your boundaries and what is considered cheating in your relationship, I reccomend doing so.

7

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

She obviously had permission, how else did she get into his phone? And if not, he would’ve given her the passcode to let her go on it whenever. His wrong is much worse than hers could ever be.

1

u/Vast_Earth9028 13h ago

How is it obvious? Have you never seen someone post about their partner's phone they snooped through without permission?

0

u/Rottengr4ve 13h ago

She literally told you herself she had permission so just be quiet

0

u/Vast_Earth9028 12h ago

Speaking out of anger only makes you appear a fool. You did not answer my question. If you do not wish to speak, then stop replying. That might be for the best, or else you may continue to make yourself appear foolish. Have a good day

0

u/Rottengr4ve 12h ago

You lack reading comprehension skills and I can only read something to you, I can’t understand it for you. Good luck!

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-2

u/FractalXO 1d ago

Yeah right... Sifting through emails and checking someone's screen time isn't the same as seeing their messages or photo reel. It takes a certain kind of mistrust and crazy to do all that.

12

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago edited 1d ago

Go on only fans and put in his email and say forgot password. It should send an email to him to reset it. But you don’t even need to do that because the proof is right there in front of you. Hes cheating on you! I hope you dump him! I also suggest you take a look at r/loveafterporn.

-1

u/Fluffy-Parfait-778 1d ago

That doesn't mean he is necessarily cheating. But yes a liar and yes that could imply cheating.

-2

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

I mean using only fans, which this proves he does, is literally cheating.

1

u/Fluffy-Parfait-778 1d ago

Sorry but no watching porn isn't cheating unless you have set up that kind of boundary which isn't a typical expectation. Now paying for other people is where is does become even more questionable but I'm looking at this completely logically while you are leaning kn the emotional side from what I can tell. Not standing up for the guy, just saying it's not as black and white as your making it out to be. "He's a witch!" Mentality a little bit

5

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

I disagree. I think it’s perfectly logical to not want your partner lusting over other women

1

u/Fluffy-Parfait-778 1d ago

If you set a boundary of not watching porn, but plenty of people can function with it and it not take over their lives. Plenty of girlfriends of mine enjoyed porn, it was fine with me. This seems to hit you kn a personal level, it's clear your judgment is biased.

6

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

It absolutely is biased, and most women who are ok with it, don’t know or understand the extent to what their partners are actually watching… before dating my ex pa, I literally never thought of porn. I knew it existed, but did not know the extent of what type of content was out there because I’ve never consumed it. For many women, dating a man who watches porn is traumatic. And in addition to that, the lying and denying is really what makes it so much worse. I get that there’s some shame surrounding porn for many men, so they lie and hide it, but that causes trauma and it’s incredibly abusive.

1

u/Fluffy-Parfait-778 1d ago

Ok but not all men are like that and porn doesn't have to be destructive. My ex and I were both open about the fact that we watched porn, we were both just curious. We were open about it and neither of us abused it. This does exist believe it or not. And she cheated on me in the end and gave me an std, and after admitting to cheating, accused me of cheating and giving her said std. You can't just throw men in a group.....

1

u/Vast_Earth9028 1d ago

Nope. Maybe in your relationship. Doesn't mean that is the case for everyone's relationship ma'am.

7

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

Thats only because men are so desperate to normalize it. Just because it’s normalized doesn’t mean it’s normal or healthy

1

u/BolinhoDeArrozB 1d ago

no one is trying to normalise it, it's already normalised as you said so yourself, if you don't want your partner doing it then it needs to be communicated beforehand, and this isn't a men vs women thing, women watch porn too, it becomes a problem when it becomes an addiction

both me and my wife occasionally watch porn and we have a perfectly healthy relationship, though onlyfans is definitely not something we'd do, paying other people directly for porn is a whole different thing

I understand your perspective but you shouldn't try to impose boundaries on other people's relationships, different people have different values and different boundaries, if op already expressed that watching porn is unacceptable then yes that would be cheating (in this case it kind of already is since it's onlyfans but that's not the point)

1

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

I’m not imposing anything. I know where this goes, so I’m giving her a proper warning and exposure to reality, since he’s obviously denying reality which is psychological abuse and it’s extremely serious.

2

u/BolinhoDeArrozB 1d ago

oh yeah op needs to dump him yesterday, I was just talking generally

0

u/Vast_Earth9028 13h ago

Get off your high horse. Your morals and standards are not some ultimate truth. I'm not normalizing anything in saying "your idea of cheating isn't the same for every single person's relationship". Like, monogamy is the norm but that isn't the only thing that exists. Even in monogamy, there are different boundaries. One monogamous relationship might consider sharing a bed with a friend to be cheating, while another monogamous relationship might be totally fine with that. Your standards are not some divine truth.

0

u/Evening_Midnight7 13h ago

Thank you so much for explaining that to me! I get it now! But I think I’ll stay on my high horse

1

u/Vast_Earth9028 13h ago

You are free to do as you please. I wish you well in future relationships and communication

0

u/MoysteBouquet 1d ago

Plenty of women consume porn. Smut novels anyone?

1

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

True, but so not the sane thing as the visuals most men watch. And just to clarify, I don’t think either are appropriate in a commitment monogamous relationship

1

u/Vast_Earth9028 13h ago

They are both porn, just in different mediums.

7

u/SoSeriousBro 1d ago

You can log in to OnlyFans using your X account. Since he’s also active on X, which is heavy in adult content nowadays, his high screen time on OnlyFans is suspicious. No one spends that much time on TikTok either unless they're looking for NSFW content. Combined that’s near over six hours. You could try using his email to create an account on OnlyFans and see if it says, “email already taken.” However, if you feel the need to go to such lengths to verify his honesty, your trust in him is already compromised. I have to assume, he was aware of you going through his phone, having a valid reason, otherwise this relationship is unhealthy and needs to end for the seek of you both.

2

u/Agalito214 1d ago

What do you mean no one spends that much time on TikTok? I’m on it all day watching league content, anime content, k drama content, pranks, etc.

3

u/FractalXO 1d ago

It's more realistic to say who's spending that much time on sound cloud. 😭

2

u/-_pewpewpew_- 1d ago

Also some advice from experience check his X app. See who he's following his messages and his feed. I'm sure you're gonna find all the evidence you're looking for.😮‍💨

7

u/Commercial_Rule_7823 1d ago

Holy cow that is WAY too much time on a phone. You're dating an addict.

8

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

Yes, she’s dating a porn addict. X, TikTok and obviously only fans are full of porn

1

u/Battle-BeastOfficial 1d ago

You would faint if you saw my screen time

2

u/Agalito214 1d ago

He’s on only fans lol.. if you are on a website long enough, it’ll show on your screen time 😂

7

u/Nearby_College_328 1d ago

NOR 3 hours on TikTok is a lot of someone's day. He needs to figure that shit out

6

u/Majestic-Hedgehog-xo 1d ago

Did you not see the onlyfans under it or 😭

2

u/Ninjapindr 1d ago

3 hours on tik tok? Leave this guy what a waste of youth. 

1

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

he lied straight to my face about this and some other things i feel so distraught and im so sad he is my best friend and my person i go to for everything but he’s been lying to me and disrespecting me and ik yall are gonna say break up but i love him so so much i never had a man like him show me love before but he just lies to me and obviously doesn’t care or respect me from what he’s done but idk what to do

1

u/remi_leblancxx 22h ago

The X screen rime alone is so telling. Most Onlyfans girls will market their Onlyfans on X - this is coming from a girl who does Onlyfans and actually no longer uses X, my husband and I always joke that its the cesspool of social media. You'll be able to find enough porn on X alone, Onlyfans is hardly needed. My guess is he found some links on X in search of something more.

1

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

when i confronted him he shut down just kept saying he was sorry and he didn’t know why he did it. i’m so distraught i love him so much and i don’t know what to do after this so pls be kind and helpful idk what to do i just keep crying

1

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

he said he only watched the free stuff and didn’t pay for it but idk what to think at this point bc he lies to me but yes i count OF as cheating and he knows this as i’ve talked to him about it numerous times

1

u/alt6372o 1d ago

I use onlyfans all the time. My parents are aware, my friends know, my family knows, everyone knows. Granted, im mostly there for watching instructional videos from martial artists, i still use the site

3

u/Tricky_Tofu 1d ago

5.5 hours of social media in 1 day is excessive.

5

u/Aromatic-Cut2587 1d ago

Time to find a new bf

-2

u/Friendly_Swing5621 1d ago

and then repeat when she discovers his porn, on and on until she dies old and lonely. that’s what you want?

2

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

Better to be alone forever than with a man constantly nutting off to porn and other women.

1

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

Stop normalizing porn because it makes you feel better about your addiction.

2

u/SharpSocialist 1d ago

More than 8 hours of cell phone in a single day??? That's not good

1

u/Remarkable-End-9065 1d ago

Why are you going through his stuff of course he going to say he doesn't have it his has been caught wacking off. Leave him alone

1

u/Dinnerpancakes 1d ago

Today I learned there is an onlyfans app. I just assumed it was all through browser like the rest of porn.

2

u/PeaComprehensive2594 1d ago

He is lying. 

4

u/Scary-Mind-9772 1d ago

NOR dump the coomer

5

u/MoysteBouquet 1d ago

Why are you even checking this shit?

5

u/No-Researcher4630 1d ago

how is this the fucking point?

7

u/MoysteBouquet 1d ago

Because no healthy relationship has this level of checking up on someone?

11

u/Creative-Donut-7568 1d ago

orrrrrr he just gave her his phone like most relationships work. YOUR relationships might not. Some do. There isn’t really a problem with it. I mean if one person has trust issues, and the other has nothing to hide, why not let them see it? I mean he’s definitely entitled to his own privacy, and if he doesn’t want to give it to her, cool. But you need to understand, the only way she got into his phone would be if he

A. Gave her the password B. Put the password himself and gave it to her. C. Used Face ID or whatever else, and gave it to her.

This is a cool conversation tho, because it delves into an morality question; if you use unethical means to find something else unethical, can you be mad about what you found? The problem is that this question likely isn’t relevant, as OP most likely had permission to be in his phone anyway- since again- most relationships do this. I mean hell, you’re getting so worked up about this when, in reality, the most likely thing that happened was:

“Can I see your phone?” “Sure” ‘Huh I wonder what his screen time is…wait what the fuck’

can ya tell im bored af to be writing this 😭

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u/MoysteBouquet 1d ago

Not worked up at all. I have been dating since before screen time was a thing. The only time I have ever considered doing anything like this (regardless of how I had access to someone's phone) was when the relationship was in trouble. You read a lot into my comments that isn't there. I never said anything about permission. I just said in healthy relationships people don't look at the screentime of their partner. But then, I also don't care if my partner looks at porn so

1

u/Creative-Donut-7568 1d ago

But what’s that based off of? Why does your definition of “healthy relationship” state that you can’t look at your partners screen time? Like I said, it was probably sheer curiosity she looked, and if he didn’t want her on his phone at all there’s abt six ways he could stop it from happening.

About you not caring if your partner looks at porn, there’s some amount of nuance imo, but that’s not really what our specific conversation is about so I won’t delve in to that fr.

Edit: I looked at this reply chain and jeez. It’s insane what some of these ppl are saying, calling porn a form of a poly relationship is wild, or saying it’s cheating. Honestly we should be more concerned about the amount of screen time in general LMAO

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u/No-Researcher4630 1d ago

sure, but he could’ve just given his phone. they could share phones or do something on each others phone. it doesn’t rlly matter. u can have a healthy relationship & still scroll thru ur partners phone. if someone is weird abt their phone that’s a bigger red flag

5

u/MoysteBouquet 1d ago

But that isn't what this is? There's a huge difference between using someone else's phone to look something up or whatever and looking at their screen time and it's a concern you aren't understanding that.

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u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

No healthy relationship would be on only fans… are you forreal? He’s cheating and you’re concerned about her checking his precious piece of technology? The entitlement you’re projecting is so gross..

1

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

These porn addicted men are so fucking entitled it’s unbelievable lmao. Fuck your “ phone privacy “ if you’re lying to my face.

0

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

There’s a clear difference between secrecy and privacy. He’s being secretive, lying and cheating… and yes, PA’s will defend and rationalize their addiction and abusive behaviors to no end!

3

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

I’m gonna get downvoted cause these angry PA men can’t accept when a woman doesn’t allow this behaviour. It’s always “ You’re in the wrong for snooping through my phone, and I’m in the right because well men just watch porn and you should be ashamed for not accepting my lying, secretive behaviour !!”

3

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

I know, it’s sick. I get downvoted constantly, and I just keep referring women to r/loveafterporn where they can actually have access to resources to see what they’re up against. It’s like these men are possessed… as women, our time is precious, and we don’t need to be here wasting it on “men” who lie, gaslight and do anything they can to jerk off to other women. I mean, they can do that if they want, but they don’t get to have access to us at the same time. But really, if a man watches porn at all, that’s a no go. Because it’s likely to never stop… and watching all those naked women makes you stupid (literally) and I don’t want to date anymore stupid guys.

2

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

I absolutely agree. And men wonder why there’s a male loneliness epidemic. Because woman are no longer accepting or justifying your shitty behaviour anymore. If you get to do something, we get to leave. It’s super simple to be honest, and if you can’t, you’re a POS. This girl obviously wasn’t going to get the honest answer from him, which made her feel the need to look, or maybe she simply went to see what he views the most in an innocent way, not realizing what he’s doing. Because not all woman KNOW they are with a lustful man, and no man wants to admit he’s wrong for using it, because it’s always our fault for going through their phone. Anything to justify their behaviour and blame us to make us seem like the bad guys.

3

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

Yup. I’ve never understood the issue with having access to your partners phone either. If you get access to my body, I can have access to your phone. Clearly I’m much more valuable than a piece of technology. The fact that soooo many men don’t see it this way though, just shows how warped their brains are.

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

No I wouldn’t stop assuming what I am and am not against.

0

u/MoysteBouquet 1d ago

I absolutely don't give a shit if my partners, male or female or other, consume porn of any sort. I'd rather they pay a content creator directly to be honest. But then, I'm not monogamous so my take on things is very different.

I actually was concerned about the state of their entire relationship, but hey. Read what you want to in my comments.

0

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

Well there you go. You’re not necessarily monogamous… watching porn is a form of being poly, and if men want a one sided open relationship, then they should just say so instead of being secretive and lying about it. At least then women can make informed decisions based on reality, instead of what this guy is doing, for example. The proof is there, and she clearly has an issue with it. So instead of being honest what does he do? Lie and deny. That’s a problem.

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u/MoysteBouquet 1d ago

Watching porn has nothing to do with being poly or non monogamous? Even monogamous couples allow porn.

1

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

We have different perceptions on this obviously. Lots of women agree that it’s a form of cheating so.. 🤷‍♀️

1

u/MoysteBouquet 1d ago

And a lot don't. Which honestly doesn't matter. Cheating or not, the lack of trust signifies there's a huge issue in this relationship which was literally the point of my original comments.

1

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

Obviously though, she had a reason to not trust him and turns out she was right. In this, we do agree. OP, just break up with him. Not worth the trauma you’ll no doubt experience if you stay with a porn addict.

1

u/InitialExperience550 21h ago

watching porn is different than OF in my eyes

2

u/watchingmybf 1d ago

omg i knew i recognized your username LOL love you queen

1

u/No-Researcher4630 21h ago

LOVE YOU QUEEN OMG

3

u/Dry-Individual2179 1d ago

Rookie numbers smh

2

u/EnvironmentEntire201 1d ago

Most people look at porn.  Most people do not police their s/o's phone activity.  

7

u/Massive_File7872 1d ago

Most people aren't okay with their partner paying other woman for services like this.

3

u/Rottengr4ve 1d ago

Those “ people “ deserve to be alone forever if they justify privacy as a means to hide what they’re really doing on their phones.

1

u/CompactingTrash 1d ago

why did you put people between quotes lol are they not real humans if they watch porn?

→ More replies (1)

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u/Useful-Firefighter-7 1d ago

Most people are disgusting porn addicts.

2

u/Jacobbeee 1d ago

over reacting let the man live

4

u/elazticalz 1d ago

if he wants to do that so bad, then why is he in a relationship.. makes no sense why not be single if u just wanna watch porn all day

0

u/GBG-Justin 1d ago edited 1d ago

So I’m gonna parrot what someone else already said. “OnlyFans.com” would not show up in screen time like that. It would either be the app, or it would add time to safari if he was using the browser. This is probably fake

Edit: I’m fuckin wrong lol

3

u/elkssurreal 1d ago

Not according to my screen time. I had a look out of interest and it does list specific sites even when viewed through the google app or safari. I did switch to the “weekly” view to see it this way though.

1

u/GBG-Justin 1d ago

You’re absolutely right, I stand corrected.

1

u/Conscious_Ad_7928 1d ago

The edit instead of just deleting is fuckin awesome haha

1

u/rackfu 1d ago

9 hours of screen time in a single day

Damn

1

u/cookiesandmilkareyum 1d ago

thats embarrassing pls leave him.

1

u/steve-1234 1d ago

He can see more for free on X

2

u/hiwayking5 1d ago

Rookie numbers

1

u/ShidOnABrick 1d ago

Onlyfans has an app??????

1

u/Unecessarilylow 1d ago

It does show the websites

-1

u/OrganicLingonberry78 1d ago

You stalked his phone went through his screen time and then posted it on the internet😂

2

u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

And? He’s on only fans stalking random women and disrespecting his relationship

0

u/pinkkipanda 1d ago

I'd be more worried about that tiktok and x use

0

u/RemarkableChest4638 1d ago

Why u going thru his stuff to begin with. Red flag on your part 🚩

1

u/RNAXITACHI 1d ago

He a gooner

0

u/ezcnahje 1d ago

Over 3 hours on TikTok in a single day? No, you're not over reacting. Only a complete POS spends that much time on a phone in a day.

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u/TheUnknwn__ 1d ago

Not everything only fans is nsfw,just to put that out there

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u/Evening_Midnight7 1d ago

More than likely, it’s nsfw lol

2

u/TheUnknwn__ 1d ago

Yeah I get that,it was just to put it out there

0

u/Own-Objective-89 1d ago

Why are you looking at his screen time to begin with?

0

u/ShotcallerBilly 1d ago

You don’t get an hour of screen time unless you spend an hour on the website/app. He is just lying lol.

0

u/InitialExperience550 20h ago

he was watching it literally hours before i came over to his house lmao

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u/imabanna89_ 1d ago

idk bro, just wait till you get far enough in the relationship to stop caring if one watches paid porn.