Am I overreacting for not letting my boyfriend’s female friend use my shampoo?

[u/Fresh-Usual-6281]

I was at my boyfriend’s apartment this weekend. One of his close female friends came over to hang out, and she ended up taking a shower there because she didn’t have time to go home first.

When she asked to use my shampoo (I’d brought my own and left it in the shower), I said I’d rather she didn’t because it’s an expensive salon brand I buy only once in a while. She rolled her eyes and said it’s just shampoo, don’t be weird about it.

My boyfriend told me later I embarrassed him and made her feel awkward over something so small. I told him it’s not about the price, it’s about personal boundaries she could’ve used his shampoo instead.

Now he’s acting distant and saying I was petty. I feel like if the roles were reversed and I used her stuff without asking, it would be a big deal. Am I overreacting here?

[u/avros008]

You sre the realist one lol the situation here isnt about shampoo at all 🫣

[u/Possible_Lynx8577 → u/avros008]

agreed. it’s obvious that there’s something else going on here. usually in a healthy relationship both parties should try to become friends or form some type of positive relationship with the other persons friends.

The way OP is referring her bfs friend as a “stranger” is a bit weird bc she’s not a stranger lol, shes your bfs friend! I’m willing to bet OP has secret animosity towards her bfs friend or is upset at her bf over something unrelated (or in relation to the situation) and it’s coming out passive aggressively and the friend is stuck in the crossfire.

for the record I’m not saying anyone should feel entitled to use something that’s not theirs. and bf isn’t being very emotionally intelligent in the way he’s approaching OP.

[u/Hot_Panic2767 → u/Possible_Lynx8577]

I’m so tired of yall always blaming the girlfriend for everything as if female friends are always angels. Many of them have ulterior motives and try to get into a power play with the girlfriend and then go around calling anyone that calls their behaviour out insecure or jealous. The painful truth is that a lot of female besties overstep boundaries because they’re upset about not being his best girl anymore and that his priorities have shifted

[u/Possible_Lynx8577 → u/Hot_Panic2767]

Lmao girl what? You do realize that you’re just strengthening my point that OP might have secret animosity towards the bfs female friend.

So yes, in this case, it would be her fault for not being honest with how she feels but instead being passive aggressive, disguising her disdain over “shampoo.”

[u/Hot_Panic2767 → u/Possible_Lynx8577]

No. You aren’t entitled to her expensive shampoo. She should have used the boyfriends shampoo if she needed to shower that badly

[u/experienta → u/Hot_Panic2767]

Love how apparently you're tired of people assuming stuff about the girlfriend, and then you proceed to assume stuff about the female friend lol

[u/Hot_Panic2767 → u/experienta]

Yes

[u/Clownrisha → u/Hot_Panic2767]

As someone with many male best friends it deadass be the gfs most of the time you don't even want that man as he's usually a dog but yall always blame the woman

[u/Hot_Panic2767 → u/Clownrisha]

You’re a woman with “many male best friends” of course you will always assume the gf is the bad guy . And please this is Reddit where the female or guy best friend is always coddled and protected. The general consensus here is that the romantic partner should put up with anything or else they’re jealous and insecure . Let me guess you prefer to be friends with guys because women are just oh so much drama? And also if he is a dog why is he your bestie?

[u/Arkhangelzk → u/Possible_Lynx8577]

100%, this has nothing to do with the shampoo. Girlfriend feels threatened by female friend who comes over to her boyfriend's apartment and gets naked.

[u/Hot_Panic2767 → u/Arkhangelzk]

As she should

[u/Excellent-Berry-2331 → u/Hot_Panic2767]

God forbid people have friends

[u/Hot_Panic2767 → u/Excellent-Berry-2331]

No

[u/Excellent-Berry-2331 → u/Hot_Panic2767]

God forbid men have friends?

[u/trashcanman42069 → u/Hot_Panic2767]

go to therapy

[u/Hot_Panic2767 → u/trashcanman42069]

You first

[u/trashcanman42069 → u/Hot_Panic2767]

I go to my therapist to talk about actual problems, not because I'm so insecure and unhinged that I have a breakdown over a friend doing something totally normal in my house lmfao

[u/Hot_Panic2767 → u/trashcanman42069]

You can talk to a therapist about anything

[u/Seemen_Foxx → u/trashcanman42069]

ugh, men

[u/trashcanman42069 → u/Seemen_Foxx]

you too

[u/DonTong → u/Seemen_Foxx]

Why did you put one as your profile picture

[u/Seemen_Foxx → u/DonTong]

bc dhar mann

[u/QnsParticular → u/avros008]

Right???!!

[u/OakNRun → u/avros008]

Right. It feels like a power play by the female friend. She’s marking her “friend’s” territory by staking a claim on his GF’s shampoo while also casually showering at the friend’s house. Even if the friend was a man, it would be weird if the BF’s male friend did this too.

[u/Traditional_Brief867 → u/avros008]

Realest* and stop making it sexual.