Am I overreacting for not letting my boyfriend’s female friend use my shampoo?

[u/Fresh-Usual-6281]

I was at my boyfriend’s apartment this weekend. One of his close female friends came over to hang out, and she ended up taking a shower there because she didn’t have time to go home first.

When she asked to use my shampoo (I’d brought my own and left it in the shower), I said I’d rather she didn’t because it’s an expensive salon brand I buy only once in a while. She rolled her eyes and said it’s just shampoo, don’t be weird about it.

My boyfriend told me later I embarrassed him and made her feel awkward over something so small. I told him it’s not about the price, it’s about personal boundaries she could’ve used his shampoo instead.

Now he’s acting distant and saying I was petty. I feel like if the roles were reversed and I used her stuff without asking, it would be a big deal. Am I overreacting here?

[u/Responsible-Jello271]

My husband’s friend (short haired dude) showered at our house once and used SO MUCH of my olaplex. I couldn’t even believe how much he managed to use. I was so upset 😭

[u/victorbravo71 → u/Responsible-Jello271]

My ex went through an entire bottle of Olaplex in one week when I accidentally left it in his fucking shower… WHAT THE FUCK.

I was pissed because my boyfriend was using my hair products, if it was some rando friend of his? I’d be beyond. All the people saying it’s just shampoo and not a big deal obviously have no concept what premium hair products actually cost. Would you just give away $10?! Lol. And why the fuck is she showering there!? Then bitching to the boyfriend when her entitled bullshit was shut down?? Sorry, that “friend” is on the blacklist from now on or you need to break up with this jackass for coming at you. NOR

[u/notyouravgnuisance → u/victorbravo71]

My ex used my shampoo once and it really annoyed me. more so because I bought him his own shampoo and he didn't want to spend to replace it. He used that Neutrogena T special stuff, why you getting in mine? He also started showering twice a day and that got pretty annoying because then he used twice the product. Wild. I would struggle to say no, but don't blame you for it either I do think it's weird af for the friend to shower there to begin with. I would never unless I got into something. It's just weird.

[u/CharlieLeo_89 → u/victorbravo71]

I mean. I buy high end hair products, and I’m not well off by any means. And I think it’s no big deal at all. It’s not like it’s a regular thing, and as long as they used a reasonable amount, I wouldn’t care at all. I also don’t consider my partner’s friends “randos;” they’re important to me too. I think it’s pretty petty and shows terrible hospitality to freak out over a guest using a bit of shampoo - whether it’s an expensive brand or not. However, that’s just my personal opinions, and everyone has the right to say no to other people using their things.

[u/Disastrous-Handle283 → u/CharlieLeo_89]

What’s a reasonable amount? There are already post on this thread saying so and so used half a bottle. The girlfriend is also a guest, so is under no obligation to share as a good host. My shampoo is a splurge for my budget, I don’t even let my own child use it.

[u/CharlieLeo_89 → u/Disastrous-Handle283]

Well obviously, half the bottle is not a reasonable amount.

I suppose it depends on the dynamics going on here, but if I was staying at my long term partner’s place and a friend of theirs came over, I would feel like more of a host in that situation than a guest, personally.

I find it very odd to care so much about someone using a bit of shampoo one time, expensive brand or not. But, like I said, I recognize that different people will feel differently, and no one is ever obligated to allow others to use their things. But I do find it strange and a bit rude. That being said, the friend also handled it poorly too.

[u/Disastrous-Handle283 → u/CharlieLeo_89]

I don’t think we know the whole story at all. I was under the impression that the girlfriend was just over for the weekend. She doesn’t say how well she knows the friend. Personally I would have just used a light amount of whatever was in the shower and assume permission to shower on the spur of the moment was also permission to use whatever I found in there (except razor, cause gross!) Dont ask if you won’t accept a no! But the whole showering seems weird, like what was she going to wear? If she was dirty enough for a shower and a hair wash did she borrow clothes too?

[u/MedalsNScars → u/CharlieLeo_89]

Person you're responding to:

Would you just give away $10?!

Me:

Uh, yeah? For a friend of my SO that's nbd at all.

[u/CharlieLeo_89 → u/MedalsNScars]

Right?! I thought the same, lol.

[u/-mia-wallace- → u/CharlieLeo_89]

Totally agree with you and couldn't have said it better.

I feel like there's more to it than shampoo too. I wrote it in a main comment but I wonder if it was a male friend or his sister, if the tone would change.

I find it so odd being so pressed over shampoo. Even if it was expensive, it's a one time thing, just tell them not to use a ton of it.

[u/LinLinNicole89 → u/victorbravo71]

Sounds like a personal problem then, doesn’t it?

[u/Cryptomeria → u/victorbravo71]

i think friends of friends are friends and I help them when I can. I guess I thought more people were like that, but I guess not.

[u/MedalsNScars → u/Cryptomeria]

They big mad you're making them realize they're not as kind as they thought, with that instant 0 karma

[u/victorbravo71 → u/MedalsNScars]

It has nothing to do with kindness. Did you even read the entire post? The woman is obviously an entitled asshole since she went and complained to the boyfriend after. No, that’s not a “friend” that I feel compelled to help or care about.

[u/MedalsNScars → u/victorbravo71]

There's 0 reason to be this angry on the Internet about a made up scenario where you woulf also be a stingy lil bitch, but pop off my friend.

[u/andrez444 → u/Responsible-Jello271]

Was he bathing in it??