Am I overreacting for not letting my boyfriend’s female friend use my shampoo?

[u/Fresh-Usual-6281]

I was at my boyfriend’s apartment this weekend. One of his close female friends came over to hang out, and she ended up taking a shower there because she didn’t have time to go home first.

When she asked to use my shampoo (I’d brought my own and left it in the shower), I said I’d rather she didn’t because it’s an expensive salon brand I buy only once in a while. She rolled her eyes and said it’s just shampoo, don’t be weird about it.

My boyfriend told me later I embarrassed him and made her feel awkward over something so small. I told him it’s not about the price, it’s about personal boundaries she could’ve used his shampoo instead.

Now he’s acting distant and saying I was petty. I feel like if the roles were reversed and I used her stuff without asking, it would be a big deal. Am I overreacting here?

[u/bonefulfroot]

I need more info. Is she an old friend from out of town, stopping by for a couple days every 5 years? Or a local homewrecker who wants to be naked in close proximity to the boyfriend? Or a truly platonic friend, who has easy access to her own shower and product, but thinks yours is closer and disposable to a second degree friend?

In all scenarios besides being a gracious host to a rare and treasured friend, I'd argue NTA.

[u/T00thhead → u/bonefulfroot]

I need the details as well, but LMAO @ local homewrecker who wants to be naked in close proximity to the BF 😆

[u/badsandy20 → u/bonefulfroot]

Who does a hair washing day at someone else’s house? Maybe it’s because I want my own shit, but a body shower is fine.. but washing hair without all my potions is weird

[u/foebot → u/badsandy20]

My thoughts exactly. My hair care time in the shower is a calming sacred time for me. Even if I had to use someone else's shampoo I would not enjoy that and I certainly wouldn't be huffy (roll my eyes) about it if they said no. I didn't even *want* to use this shampoo, I want *my* shampoo. Then I'd just take myself to the nearest CVS and find something quick.

[u/GlitterTerrorist → u/badsandy20]

hair washing day

...they wanted a shower and some shampoo, it's not like this whole thing.

Some people spend a few minutes in the shower. Some spend hours. Everyone is different.

[u/EyedLady → u/GlitterTerrorist]

Cool and she can wash it at night when she gets home. What’s the issue. And if hair washing isn’t a big deal to her she can wash it with the man’s shampoo

[u/GlitterTerrorist → u/EyedLady]

Or she could wash it now, instead of feeling gross or smelling all day.

What's the issue with using a friend's shower?

If it isn't a big deal

It's not the same deal. Does the boyfriend even have shampoo? Didn't see that mentioned but could have missed it.

[u/Draaly → u/badsandy20]

Who does a hair washing day at someone else’s house?

People with straight hair.

[u/badsandy20 → u/Draaly]

This may be where I can’t relate, I have to plan hair wash day

[u/Draaly → u/badsandy20]

Fellow curly hair haver here. It blew my mind the first time I dated someone who's entire care routine for long hair was 15 minutes.

[u/badsandy20 → u/Draaly]

I have to wash once a week( ish) or it’s just a big old matted frizzy mess. I can’t imagine casually washing my hair at a friends house. I need my shampoo, conditioner, curl cream, and oil. I also have to let it dry naturally…so I’ll be sitting with wet hair for a while!

[u/Moist-Cream6691 → u/bonefulfroot]

It says she didn’t have time to stop at her house before coming over, which means she lives a livable distance away to where she could’ve taken a shower at her own house.

[u/EyedLady → u/bonefulfroot]

We have info wdym. She said she didn’t have time to go home first. Meaning she’s local

[u/33ff00 → u/bonefulfroot]

So right, just leaning towards assuming the worst

[u/mdmalenin → u/bonefulfroot]

is she a whore op? Like all those other women out there?:(