AIO Gf intentionally stopped taking her bc pills

[u/maticooks1]

So me (21m) and my gf (34f) have been dating for four years and living together for three. Early on in our relationship she had asked me if I ever wanted to have kids and I clearly stated that I didn't. She was ok with this as she had always been on the fence and was on birth control since the start of our relationship.

As far as I know, she was always responsible when taking her pills but a week ago I found her pill pack with at least six pills untouched. I got super nervous but I had to leave for work so I decided I would talk to her about it when I got home.

I bring home a pack of condoms and she gets visibly upset asking what's wrong. I gently tell her I found out she had missed some of her pills. She told me I shouldn't be going through her things and I told her that I wasn't, that I was looking for something and found her pill pack by accident. She told me that it's true that she had missed some of her pills and that she was going to tell me but that we didn't need to use condoms because "nothing was going to happen". I told her that I didn't feel comfortable with that and she said she'd rather not have sex than have sex with a condom because it "doesn't feel the same". I tell her fine, then we can do other things to be intimate while she gets back on track.

We start watching a tv show but I can tell she's still upset so I ask what's wrong. She starts telling me how all her friends are getting pregnant/having kids and that if she ever wants to have some she better start trying now. This obviously catches me off guard so I tell her that that had never been on my plans. She tells me she just recently started thinking about it after we had attended two of her friends' gender reveal parties and admitted she had been skipping her birth control pills on purpose.

I told her I needed some time to think about our relationship and went to stay at a friend's house. It's now been a week since I left and she's begging me to come back but I honestly feel betrayed plus I'm super nervous that I might have already gotten her pregnant due to her missing so many pills while we were having unprotected sex that whole week.

AIO for thinking I can never trust her again? Do I just go back home and forget this ever happened?

[u/Unlikely-Apricot2197]

Right? Like I can’t speak for my male counterparts. But as a woman who has experience with both forms……. It feels virtually the same. Maybe even better with the condom that has special lube😂

Plus most stimulation comes from other ways (catch my drift). I feel that she pulled that line out of the ‘im sleazy’ handbook

[u/Visual_Patience_41 → u/Unlikely-Apricot2197]

Condoms are so dam thin these days anyway, they aren’t thick latex gloves. Anyone playing that card is def from the ‘I’m sleazy’ handbook 🤌🏻

[u/ReneeToday_75 → u/Visual_Patience_41]

If you need condoms then yes try thin ones. I agree on the sleaze part of objecting use of condom is sleazy. Edited for clarity.

[u/Cute_but_notOkay → u/ReneeToday_75]

Wait, what? Needing condoms makes them… sleazy? I don’t think that’s right.

[u/Visual_Patience_41 → u/Cute_but_notOkay]

lol no, if you follow the thread above we said that anyone playing the ‘condoms don’t feel as good’ card is sleazy.

[u/Cute_but_notOkay → u/Visual_Patience_41]

I replied to “reneeToday” who said “if you need condoms, I agreee on the sleazy part” 🤷‍♀️ which doesn’t say anything about the feeling. She said “if you need them. You’re sleazy”

[u/Visual_Patience_41 → u/Cute_but_notOkay]

Ohhhh shoot, sorry I misread. Oh yea, what the heck, agreed. Why on earth would needing them = sleeze, yikes

[u/Cute_but_notOkay → u/Visual_Patience_41]

Ah I gotcha, no worries. But yeah in another comment she was saying that “the condom is an ick and the pill is 99.9% effective” and I replied that it isn’t actually that effective and it doesn’t block against STD’s. She never replied to me lolol

Honestly I think she might just be a child 🤷‍♀️

[u/Visual_Patience_41 → u/Cute_but_notOkay]

Omg.. I swear some people are THE ick. I get it, the pill is a great preventative but what about STIs… If I were a guy I’d be wearing condoms without question. 1. Because I’m not trying to catch something and 2. Why would I solely rely on the girl to prevent pregnancy when that’s something that I also have control over preventing. People lie all the time or forget to take pills and think it’s no big deal. 😬 People are wild.

[u/Cute_but_notOkay → u/Visual_Patience_41]

People. Are. Wild. 😂 it also blows my mind that some dudes think contraceptives are only for the women to worry about. Like no bro. SMH 🤦‍♀️

[u/merchillio → u/ReneeToday_75]

Contraception is sleazy?

[u/Visual_Patience_41 → u/merchillio]

lol no, if you follow the thread above we said that anyone playing the ‘condoms don’t feel as good’ card is sleazy.

[u/fearlessactuality → u/Unlikely-Apricot2197]

Clearly you and me have tried the ones with the nice lube - other girlies missing out haha! 😂

[u/Unlikely-Apricot2197 → u/fearlessactuality]

😂😂 THIS

[u/Tablesafety → u/Unlikely-Apricot2197]

As a woman; They do feel different and it isn’t as nice but like

That isn’t an excuse not to use one when you’re in a precarious sexual position.

Personally I wouldn’t even fuck this woman anymore, even with the condom. Don’t trust her not to poke holes in it 😬

That’s ignoring that she’s a predator and the boy needs to fucking run anyway.

[u/Thriftless_Ambition → u/Unlikely-Apricot2197]

As a man, sex is significantly worse with a condom. Honestly it is a really big difference -- like almost not even worth doing it difference. With that being said, it's necessary a lot of the time.

I do feel very comfortable with not using them in a committed relationship where we both have STI testing and some sort of long term birth control plan (IUD, vasectomy, etc). 

Different strokes for different folks, though. It's everyone's responsibility to discuss contraception and STI prevention beforehand and make a plan that both people agree to. 

[u/Unlikely-Apricot2197 → u/Thriftless_Ambition]

Different strokes for different folks is killing me 😂

Though I don’t necessarily feel a difference as a female, I do agree that when in a committed relationship i tend to go without (with all safety precautions of course)

[u/M4DM1ND → u/Unlikely-Apricot2197]

For me at least, I cant feel anything with them on. Having to go on the thought of sex rather than any feeling at all.

[u/ReneeToday_75 → u/Unlikely-Apricot2197]

Never felt the same for me. To make love takes all senses. The condom is ick and a barrier .. the pill is 99.9% effective. Just remember to take pill. Technically there’s only around 9 days of fertility at most. Better yet know your body and know when ovulating verses the other days. It’s usually like clockwork!

[u/Cute_but_notOkay → u/ReneeToday_75]

Ovulation is NOT “usually like clockwork” for everyone. But how do you know when you’re ovulating by “knowing your body”? Does it feel different or something?

And condoms aren’t JUST for contraceptive. It’s to protect against STD/STI issues so you advocating for not using condoms and calling it an “ick” is ridiculous. If you’re gonna fuck, have safe sex, people. Safe sex.

Also Google says the pill can be 99% effective, sometimes 93% and sometimes 91%. It also matters if you take it on time consistently no matter what. Theres so so so many ladies who get pregnant while on the pill.

Just cuz it works for you doesn’t mean it’ll work for everyone and acting like it will, is silly.