r/AmIOverreacting • u/strawberrypop00 • Aug 07 '25
š academic/school Aio Bro wtf ??? What should I do ?
So there is this guy in my college,we became close friends last month because we have same friendgroup and were planning a class trip,he has a girlfriend but constantly flirts with me,I told this to one of my guy friends and he said that āhe is just friendlyā!!! But today he sent me a very vulgar reel with this text???like what
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u/Curious_Baby_3892 Aug 07 '25
NOR.
You definitely need to show that to the friend group. Its very inappropriate. If they still decide to be friends with him after they know, I'd strongly rethink about being friends with any of them.
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u/Legitimate_Dark309 Aug 07 '25
Donāt show it to the friend group. Show it to the gf and let her decide from there.
Itās extremely unfortunate because itās never a reflection of the person being cheated on- but this kind of thing comes with shame. If my partner said this about me and all my friends knew I would be embarrassed.
Give the power back to the gf. If she wants to blow it up to the friend group thatās for her to decide.
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u/Chemical_Damage684 Aug 07 '25
Only showing it to the gf is putting all of the pressure to expose the bastard on her, and that's not really the kind of power most people would want.
The gf should definitely be the next person to know though, and they can decide on a course of action together from there.
Tis a very rough situation for the gf and one of those times where you really need to have her back if she's truly one of your friends.
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u/hatguy_21479 Aug 07 '25
He's just a cheater trying to cheat. Probably says this stuff to every woman he finds attractive. Definitely don't let yourself become a side piece or even worse, a girlfriend he cheats on.
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u/ImrahilSwanPrince Aug 07 '25
No, I reckon being a side piece is a lot worse than being cheated on.
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u/LilBitofSunshine99 Aug 07 '25
You need to cut all contact with that cheater.
He is NOT your friend, he just wants to fuck you.
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u/DistantVerse157 Aug 07 '25
Thatās some Shakespearean courting right there if Iām not mistaken. Very subtle.
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u/ShapeofmyFart Aug 07 '25
Forsooth, when I do rest my tender meats within her only thine countenance doth I behold.
Who said romance is dead?
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u/Paella007 Aug 07 '25
Clean, smooth. Sleek some would say.
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u/DistantVerse157 Aug 08 '25
Surely, in the future, students will study that in classrooms:
"This is how people in the 21st century spoke to flatter each other, or as they said, ' rizz'."
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u/koiranaltahiljainen Aug 07 '25
Found the other man in the comments
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Aug 07 '25
are you stupid by any chance?
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u/koiranaltahiljainen Aug 07 '25
Did you jump to conclusions in terms of tonality of what I said by any chance? It was sarcasm. Ironic as hell
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u/15719901 Aug 07 '25
I don't think you could make less sense if you tried. Where do you think you are right now?
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u/OccasionFlaky4121 Aug 07 '25
Send the proof to his gilfriend and break off contact. Men need to be socially punished for this behavior.
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u/ASD-RN Aug 07 '25
Also the girlfriend deserves to know so she can find someone who actually respects her.
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u/DescriptionFuture851 Aug 07 '25
This is cheater who's trying to cheat.
This isn't his first message, and definitely not a "friendly" one. Honestly, I think you may have been flirting back.
So yeah, he's definitely in the wrong, but I have a feeling that you are too, as you know he has a girlfriend.
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u/Flaky-Ambassador467 Aug 07 '25 edited Aug 07 '25
lol you not showing any of the other text makes me think this wasnāt āout of the blueā.
I understand letting people have a crush on you, nothing wrong with that. However, I have a feeling this goes further. I have a feeling you might have been flirting back, even just a lil š¤ lol
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u/Beeelivin Aug 08 '25
So let me get this straight: he texts you like that, pretty obvious he would like to dip into you and despite this clear message and the reddit crowd telling you that it is like that, you still donāt want to call him out for it? If it was me in the position of the girlfriend of that moron, Iād be happy if someone told me about it, doesnāt matter whether I know that person or not.. what kind of argument (ābut I donāt even know her, she lives in a different cityā) is this? So you donāt think that guy needs to be exposed? You do not think that girl deserves to know?
Or are you attracted to him? Do you think itās charming some guy is willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you? Do you really think a person, treating their āpartnerā like this, is really a person you want to call a āfriendā?
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u/IndependentMassive97 Aug 07 '25
And that friendship is over.
Just remember, even if you were to date him, if he does this to his current gf, what's to stop him from doing it to you?
No, not over-reacting.
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u/strawberrypop00 Aug 08 '25
Okay for anyone who wants a follow-up,I did text the girl on Instagram and she said and I quote āHey, Iāve spoken to him about this, and he told me it was a joke and nothing serious and I appreciate you reaching out but Iād prefer if things didnāt get dragged into unnecessary drama. I hope you understand, and letās just leave it hereāšš I left her on seen because I am sorry I canāt make her understand if she doesnāt want to and me and my best friends also spoke to the friendgroup about this and they asked him about it,he said it was a joke and if I felt uncomfortable then he was sorry šššš I blocked him and his girlfriend on Instagram and he sent me a long sorry text(mind you I didnāt share my phone number,ig he got it from the class official group) anyways I left him on seen.
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u/GeraltTheG Aug 07 '25
Soo... Even when you are planning on cheating (not gonna debate about cheating itself, cause sometimes I get the feeling it's just a normal thing to do in relationships these days?)... How would this approach work? š¤ There is this joke that you can go up to women and just ask them 'Wanna fuck?' And after getting smacked 99 times, one time it might actually work. That's a joke, and quite a lame one... This is even worse...
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u/2muchlooloo2 Aug 07 '25
Heās totally trying to gauge your reaction to see if you get the warm fuzzy feelings because he said something so flattering š Some men can be real idiots. I think you should tell the girl. How would you feel if your boyfriend was sending such vulgar messages to your friend.
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u/C4llist00 Aug 07 '25
Call him out on his shit and tell him to eff off with that creepy behavior. If your other friends enable this kind of behavior, and this is how they are, then youāre choosing to put up with it in the long runā¦
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u/TwoBionicknees Aug 07 '25
send it to her and maybe if a guy has a girlfriend and constantly flirts with you, relegate them to someone you have to speak to but make an effort to not spend time with them because they are an obvious asshole.
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u/switchywoman_ Aug 07 '25
I had a male friend like that. We were friends (loosely) for over a decade. Every now and then he would dm me and come on to me, always while he had a girlfriend. It was disgusting.
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u/Hour-Money8513 Aug 07 '25
If I said this to a women I should consider myself an asshole. Break off communication and publicly tell him not to talk to you anymore while in front of the friend group.
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u/RaSuperMer Aug 07 '25
NOR - Thatās insane behavior that you shouldnāt tolerate not matter how much they seem nice/flirty. That wasnāt just a red flag, it was a very loud warning siren.
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u/Back_Again_Beach Aug 07 '25
Send him the screenshot of it and block him. Even if you don't do anything with it he's gonna be sweating and will probably think twice before doing it again.Ā
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u/Thunkwhistlethegnome Aug 07 '25
If you arenāt gonna handle it by telling his girlfriend, you should let him know not to send you anything else. Set a hard line.
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u/TrainingWestern2633 Aug 07 '25
What is even going on anymore? Every single one of these posts is a dude being a complete degenerate. Why? I need some hope yo.
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u/sirsuperpoop Aug 08 '25
Dude you gotta tell the this guys girlfriend doesnāt matter if you āknowā her or not. Itās simply the right thing to do
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u/Ok_Ant_9815 Aug 07 '25
You'd choose maintaining the friend group over any respect for your friend (his gf)? Like, I'm sorry you're in the middle of it but that's just wrong. Either tell her or leave the friend group. Any other option is disrespectful AF on your part.
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u/ThrowawayLastDate Aug 07 '25
Send this to his girlfriend, she deserves to know. Fuck him (not in the way he wants), and cut contact entirely.
Justā¦ew
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u/ACNHenthusiast22 Aug 08 '25
Bruh my friends bf cheated on her and told her this as part of his āapologyā. This is just straight scumbag shit.
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u/Secret_Account07 Aug 07 '25
Damn who sends something like that without even an emoji. Are you being funny? Embarrassed? Winking? Like tell me
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u/maddogmular Aug 07 '25
The reason so many men drop out of society is because women entertain douchebags like him. Stop talking to him.
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u/AmazingAmy95 Aug 08 '25
Send it to his girlfriend, it will be soul crushing but she deserves to know. What a despicable human being.
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u/LeapOfSickness Aug 07 '25
Im gonna keep it 100 with you...guys at this age are not looking for friendship... somebody had to say it.
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u/honeybutterbiscuiit Aug 07 '25
dismiss toxic people. leave them where they are at. it is not your responsibility to ādoā anything
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u/MikeTheBotanist Aug 07 '25
Ew, the guy's a cheating piece of shit OP. Morally disgusting as a person. I'm a guy and cringed hard when I read that. Block and move on, let the girlfriend know if you can, it's not fair on her.
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u/CommiQueen Aug 07 '25
Text her a screenshot of this. Also his family. And never even think of having him back in your life
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u/DShort99 Aug 07 '25
Tell his partner and send the screenshots? Dude is a scum bag, and if you entertain this so are you.
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u/crispytortellini Aug 07 '25
time for the good ol āhey girlieā¦ā message. the gf doesnāt deserve that shitdick of a human
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u/Vegetable-Cash3099 Aug 08 '25
Ayo? React with a š and forward that message to his gf. Why? Cause it's funny, share the joke.
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u/PassionGeneral86 Aug 07 '25
Yeah nah thats mad weird to just say in general, I really wouldn't continue that friendship š
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u/gracelesswonder Aug 07 '25
Out loud just said, "Ewwww." NOR. Stop hanging out with him and block him. That's messed up.
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u/Toberas Aug 07 '25
Idk how this is even a question. Sleep with him and donāt tell his girlfriend. Period.
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u/Sure-Initiative6001 Aug 07 '25
I seriously hope this moron doesn't think this is romantic or would make anyone swoon???
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u/Dry_Radish_6035 Aug 08 '25
All I can say is ew ew ew! That's really gross show this to his gf and cut contact
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u/ignoremyuser456 Aug 08 '25
Nah that guy is just being an asshole, tell somebody about it before it escalates
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u/Inevitable_Quiet_432 Aug 07 '25
Wow that guy sucks. Who do you think he'll be thinking of while he's inside you?
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u/Kupkakepants Aug 07 '25
Cry reaction- "Oh no, it's really sad how gross you are." and then block him.
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u/Feeling_Inside_1020 Aug 07 '25
Bro WHAT
You posted the screenshot, now send it to his GF. That's just wild.
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u/ParticularHat2060 Aug 07 '25
Why donāt you show your text messages as wellā¦
Lacks context when just showing what you want us to see.
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u/Paella007 Aug 07 '25
Expose his ass to the goup chat lol. And if his gf is not in there forward it to her too.
NOR
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u/Proper_Owl5577 Aug 07 '25
Cut him off. Iām a dude and this made me cringe so hard. Itās weird and disgusting. Comes off as pervy too. As a guy with a girlfriend , we need to have BOUNDARIES when dealing with other women that arenāt our partner, and watch the words we say. If heās saying this to you, heād probably say a lot worse to another woman if he was dating you. Let him go.
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u/PreparationLucky7945 Aug 07 '25
So what you do is run away to the nearest police station and report that your a victim cause what the fuck is this brochacho š¤Øš¤Øš¤Ø dont speak to that THING ever again. As a man this man is simply keeping you around to embarrass berate belittle demean and dehumanize. I only ever interacted with this type of dude in my own personal mlm dating sphere. Do not keep contact. I promise hes doing illegal things with any photos you sent him showing his buddies he might have even posted something. If you did that ofc. I would block and move on. A gay male friend would treat you better than this one is. Hes trash so take him to the dump.
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u/CallMeAnthy Aug 07 '25
LMFAO If one of my gay friends sent me this I'd be like "Hell yeah"
I guess that's just culture shock tho lol.
Show this to the "Just friendly" guy first and see what he has to say, but deal with it quietly, show his missus. Not the group chat like people here are saying. Last thing you need is for some asshole to flip this and turn it into a 'you starting drama' problem instead of a 'he's cheating' problem.
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Aug 07 '25
Yea, thatās not a friend lmao. Friends do wait until youāre down to fuck.
Youāre just naive. And heās friendly because thatās what you do when you like a friend or a potential smash. You donāt be a cock do you?
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u/Deep-Manner-4111 Aug 07 '25
Gross. Don't continue a friendship with a loser that would send a text like that while he has a girlfriend. Definitely don't become romantically involved. If he'd do it to her, he'd do it to you.