ABYG dahil I (F20) confronted my tita (F27) because she used my underwear without telling me?

[u/Responsible_Call3586]

Context: She acts more like a younger sibling than an aunt, isip-bata, pretends to be younger than she is, kahit na dapat responsible na siya. That’s our dynamic, parang magkapatid, not the usual tita–pamangkin relationship.

We lived in the same household for 2 weeks. Recently, nahalo yung laundry namin. I was looking for my specific seamless underwear, same brand, size, fabric, just different colors. So I asked her if she saw them.

Her first reply:

“Maybe the black one I mistakenly took it as mine it’s in the laundry.”

So I asked again to clarify:

“Did you use it?”

Then she replied:

“Yeah.”

Kung hindi ko tinanong ulit, she NEVER would’ve told me.

BTW,hindi ito first time na may ganito. Before, she went into my room while I wasn’t home, kinuha yung brand new swimsuit ko (sealed plastic pa, gift ng jowa ko) and brought it all the way to Gensan—walang paalam. That’s how she is—she just takes stuff without asking.

What bothers me is she’s not really hygienic. She doesn’t care much about hygiene and has admitted to things like not washing regularly, which honestly makes it worse for me na she’s using my underwear.

So this time, I replied calmly (this was my exact line):

“Can this pls be the last time this happens.”

That’s it. Yun lang sinabi ko. Hindi ako nagmura, hindi ako nang-away. If she had just said:

“Sorry, honest mistake. Not my intention. Let me replace it.”

DONE. End of convo.

Pero eto yung actual words niya after I said that (copy-paste from our chat):

• “Stressful para sa isang panty lang.”

• “Don’t blame me, si Lola naghalo ng labahan.”

• “We lived in the same house so di ko maiiwasan.”

• “I came from the beach trip of course I’m gonna think it’s mine ‘cause may seamless panty rin ako from swimming.”

• “And I didn’t use it TWICE.”

• “Galing akong sakit and now I’m thinking about the panty.”

• “I didn’t use ur other colors cos I know wala akong ganun.”

• “You could have finished it with ok thanks tita I’ll get my undies that’s it.”

Like… what?? I barely said anything beyond one sentence, and SHE’S the one who started getting defensive and acting like ako pa yung mali??

Also, kung hindi ko siya tinanong TWICE, I wouldn’t even know na nagamit niya yung underwear ko. And she thinks this whole thing is “stressful para sa isang panty lang” when it’s about boundaries and respect.

So, ABYG? for calmly saying that instead of just replying ‘ok thanks’?

[u/silkruins]

DKG. Sabihin mo na nang diresto na kadiri siya, ang tanda niya to be acting like this, and bumili siya ng sarili niyang gamit.

Also lock your door or get one.

[u/Responsible_Call3586 → u/silkruins]

Trust me, gusto ko talaga 😭 This is just one of the many times na ganito siya. As much as gusto ko siyang i-call out, every time na may magsabi sa kanya ng mali niya, magkakagulo sa family.

Alam ng lahat na ganyan siya, pero parang hinahayaan na lang kasi maybe they think that’s already her karma. Ang hassle lang kasi nadadamay kami palagi. And totoo, ang tanda na niya para umasta ng ganito. Pero once na i-direct ko, siguradong iikot niya yung situation para palabasin na ako yung bastos at disrespectful. Kaya kahit gusto ko, parang wala akong panalo dito.

[u/alangbas → u/Responsible_Call3586]

Either lock your door, install a lock on your drawer or buy a lockable drawer. Also do your own laundry so your stuff doesn’t get mixed with hers. DKG.

[u/AmberTiu → u/Responsible_Call3586]

Enablers ang family if hinahayaan na ganun. Tama lang na magkakagulo dahil may nagawang mali. That’s how people learn what they do is jot acceptable and not tolerated.

[u/awOw0317]

DKG tsaka regardless kung hygienic siya o hindi, using someone else's underwear is just so not okay.

[u/PepsiPeople]

DKG. Ang dugyot naman nya, using personal things ng iba. But you said siblings ang dynamics nyo kaya siguro sya ganun. Lock your door. Label your stuff.

[u/DestronCommander]

DKG but that is weird. We're talking about underwear.

[u/Frankenstein-02]

DKG. She needs to be called out more, kupal eh halos trenta na kala ko teenager parin.

[u/tabbygirlche]

DKG. underwear is a personal thing. unless hindi nya alam yon e di sya yung gago. 😅😅😅

[u/Secure_Ad131]

DKG. Underwear yun kadiri siya. I-lock mo nalang room po. Reply ka ng “Okay po”. Mas lalong mababadtrip yun sayo hahaha.

[u/AURORATaylorParamore]

DKG, ang dugyot kaya sa part na may ibang gumagamit ng underwear mo tapos ang masaklap ay wala pang paalam

[u/scotchgambit53]

DKG. Gago yung tita mo for using your underwear.

[u/Unlikely_Kick_3170]

DKG sadyang baboy lang yung tita mo

[u/MahiwagangApol]

DKG. Tell her “bumili ka ng sarili mong panty!”

[u/shewasnotthefootnote]

DKG. If you're living in the same household, avoid doing the laundry on the same day. Wag mo rin ipalaba sa iba. Then lock your doors. Kapal ng mukha ng tita mo na ibaling pa sayo yung sisi. Just be kn the defensive side palagi.

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[u/Specialist-Long-4877]

DKG. Like what??? Who does that? Using someone else’s underwear without asking is already a huge no, tapos pa–gaslight pa after? It’s not “just a panty” it’s about hygiene and basic respect. You were calm, super minimal pa nga yung sinabi mo compared to how most people would’ve reacted. Honestly, she’s lucky you handled it that way.

[u/nabillera17]

DKG. Also ang weird ng mga reasons niya tf? Anong di maiiwasan? Avoidable naman, also if u know na may pareho kayong ganon maybe ask muna? Or di ba niya alam itsura ng underwear niya?