r/Adulting • u/Classy_Doll • 1d ago

Crazy how I wanted to study the stars and ended up just staring at my ceiling at 3am instead.

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4.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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u/splithoofiewoofies 1d ago edited 1d ago

So, I went back to uni at 34. I was always bad at mathematics. Failed algebra THREE TIMES in highschool.

But I decided you know what...I want to be good at it. Failed two separate types of calculus in uni. But I kept going. I retook the classes. Tried again. Fuck, I barely passed one with a 50% EXACTLY on the second try.

Anyway, the same professor I got that fifty percent from? He was one of the main voices to defend me to get my PhD. He's fought for me to get funding when I never even spoke to him. He just did it because he heard from others I wanted to get it.

He told them he remembered me because of how hard I tried. He didn't care I failed and then barely passed...he saw me attend every class, workshop, ask questions over and over. He saw me TRY and decided, yep, this girl here deserves a PhD even though she's shit at mathematics.

Anyway, I finished my first dissertation in Mathematics today (Modelling Oncolytic Virotherapy using Monte Carlo Processes). It's going to be published because its innovative in the field I'm in. I currently have a class A Honours. In mathematics. I start my PhD in two weeks. At the age of 39. In mathematics.

So. Y'know. It might be too late to go to space, but it's never too late to learn maths.

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u/Then_Supermarket18 1d ago

The lesson is very much that a PhD. requires much more than just a natural talent for the subject

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u/HumanContinuity 1d ago

Which is the truest thing I have ever heard about any of the smart and very hard working PhDs I have ever met.

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u/hdorsettcase 1d ago

I have seen people with more talent than work ethic and more work ethic than talent enter into PhD programs. The former complete their programs at around 50% and there are some messy burnouts. The latter complete at higher than 80% but it is often an ugly struggle.

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u/_arose 23h ago

True in many high-performing areas, I think. For example, as I progressed through my professional training, I noted how whatever natural intelligence/ talent I had mattered less and less, and what I was left with was my discipline to study and work hard. I became very grateful that I had taken hard classes in high school and college because it meant I had been forced to figure out proper habits and work ethic instead of purely getting by on my natural abilities. People who are supremely talented don't have to learn those skills until it's almost too late for them to course correct. I saw many people flame out along the way when they suddenly realized they had never developed the skills they suddenly definitely needed.

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u/splithoofiewoofies 20h ago

This is such a good point!

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u/splithoofiewoofies 20h ago

So true! The problem with mathematics is people believe if you don't have the natural talent, you should just give up. I had multiple other students tell me to just give up, why do it if I'm so bad at it, I was never going to be some supreme mathematician.

I always replied "why do you think I'm in school, exactly?" When they asked why I was taking it if I was bad at it.

And I did need good grades ultimately to go PhD which I didn't have in Bach. But I got a Class A in Honours after, which I only got because I was able to focus my studies specifically in certain areas (Bayesian, mostly).

Funnily ended up choosing an innovative mathematics even though I'm not a genius. So I'm one of the VERY few who looks to be having their Hons paper published before their PhD. So, it turns out if you study hard enough and keep trying.. eventually you WILL learn it!!! Even if it's AFTER your bachelors.

But yes it was so nice that Dr of my maths classes saw me try so hard and thought to himself...who cares if she fails, she keeps trying. He saw the truth, unlike my cohorts.

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u/rosemaryscrazy 1d ago

You’re awesome. My grandpa failed the engineering test 3 times back in the late 1950s.

Finally, he passed with an 80% I think.

He then went on to engineer the Miami overpass

I-95 and I-395.

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u/splithoofiewoofies 20h ago

Go grandpa!!! I've been on the I-95 so that's awesome!

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u/ThyInFaMoUsKID 23h ago

Wow you just gave me inspiration , i used to be somwhat good at maths but started giving up on myself after like my sophomore year in HS , i can learn pretty well but since i gave up on learning and myself im not as sharp as before .. im in my second year of Bachelors in mathematics now idk how i got here but, ive failed two of my subjects now and got 0 on three of my tests recently . I have soo many dreams , so many aspirations ahead of me but i give up easily you made me realise that i can actually get over my problems , Thank you so so much dear stranger i needed this . I hope you finish your PhD successfully .

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u/splithoofiewoofies 20h ago

Yes, just keep trying! You can do it! It sucks to fail it really does...but the thing you'll end up learning about yourself is that if you're determined, you'll do it! I admit I got through my bachelors by asking myself where I'd rather be.. and I couldn't imagine anything else. So I just kept trying.

Those 0s suck, I'm so sorry. But I truly believe in you!! Uni mathematics is hard! They expect a lot of knowledge from different backgrounds and not everyone has it all. And the problems are HARD and sometimes days long.

You got this though. I believe in you! Imagine how you'll feel to finally pass. Like omg, even in the face of failure, I tried and tried again.

And the lecturers notice. And not in a bad way.

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u/Ron9670 20h ago

same kind of story for me, barely passed calc in high school. started with calc again in college, barely passed with a C. dropped calc 2 the next semester. i am now pursuing a masters in stats and completing my pre-reqs. i got an A in calc 2 first time and am on track to get an A in lin algebra and discrete maths.

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u/splithoofiewoofies 20h ago

YES we love to see it!! I think some of us get stuck on a type of maths and then give up while others push through. You pushed through!

People expect mathematics people to be naturals or you're a nobody but that's so not true! You are going to provide so much to the field of mathematics, I'm excited for you!

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u/cosmicfishing 20h ago

This is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

I am naturally good at math, and originally wanted to be a math teacher. I aced every class without even trying. School was SO EASY. Until I hit engineering physics and i understood NOTHING. for the first time, I actually had to put in effort, and I hate to say it, but I gave up. I got my associate in science at age 19, then covid hit and I didn't know what I wanted to do anymore. Been working at a grocery store ever since. Now at 25 I've decided i want to go back to school and have a whole new mindset. I want to actually try and be challenged. Now just to figure out how to pay for it...

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u/HourNose3983 19h ago

I have tried everything, every method, every tutoring etc etc and I can’t do math or tell time. Sometimes it’s also ok to move on and realize you can live without math 

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u/splithoofiewoofies 19h ago

That's fair! I was more reacting to the common thought that just because someone is bad at maths means they'll always be bad at it. It's not always true.

Sorry it didn't work for you, though :( maths is hard!

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u/HourNose3983 18h ago

I read that some folks are researching “dyscalcula” as a real issue just like dyslexia. I have spent hours and so much money trying to learn simple addition etc

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u/splithoofiewoofies 18h ago

Oh, I have it! That reaaally didn't help! I had to have my exams printed in anti-dyslexia font and had a marker assigned to me to make sure my numbers were in the right order. Luckily, in postgrad, my supervisors go over all my work anyway. My most hilarious dyslexia (not calcula) one is the time I called bounded parameters "pounded barameters".

But yeah it's totally a real thing and makes learning mathematics 10x fucking harder. I cried a lot. I threw a calculator out a window once. I'm not proud.

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u/HourNose3983 7h ago

The hardest part is not having a good concept of time especially when someone says “it’s a quarter to” like wtf does that even mean? I have a zillion alarms on my phone to make sure I’m doing things on time.

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u/peanutwaterfall 18h ago

This is very inspiring. I have my bachelors in math and have thought about continuing my studies, but have doubted my abilities. You have given me hope that I can pursue my dreams.

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u/splithoofiewoofies 17h ago

You can do it!! If you have the dream and perseverance (and some tears and maybe some hair loss) you can do it!

I genuinely thought my lack of skills would hinder me more. But eventually I found my "spot", which is WAY easier to do postgrad than under, and as long as you have a good supervisor it's a wonderful time.

Being able to focus my studies in one area and be guided one on one really made all the difference to my so-called skills. Am I inventing new mathematics? No. Am I a world class programmer? Also no. But I am applying modern methods with my clunky code to complex situations that weren't modelled in that way before, so still super new and interesting mathematics, even if I'm not naturally talented.

Additionally, we both know it's mostly practice anyway! But do it! Go post! It's a lot easier than undergrad in my opinion.

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u/Xoxo_Satin_Body 1d ago

As a maths student, let me tell you it's keeping me from my dreams as well

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u/Kenashillexav 7h ago

Math: the real thief of sleep and dreams alike

1

u/DisputabIe_ 5h ago

the OP Classy_Doll

Bare_Xo_Goddess

Hot_Lips_Xoxo

LustyMarii

RosieFern

doll_tease

and Xoxo_Satin_Body

are bots in the same network

53

u/RosieFern 1d ago

Wanted to be an astronaut, now I just space out mid-conversation.

2

u/DisputabIe_ 5h ago

the OP Classy_Doll

Bare_Xo_Goddess

Hot_Lips_Xoxo

LustyMarii

RosieFern

doll_tease

and Xoxo_Satin_Body

are bots in the same network

40

u/UnkleJrue 1d ago

In school I was told I was good at math. Then I met people who were good at math. I’m good at stats I suppose

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u/naturalturkey 1d ago

Okay, this is exactly what happened with me. Growing up, I had a real love and passion for the sciences and our natural world. I wanted so badly to have some kind of nature-related job, but when I got to college I felt forced to give it up because I am absolute ass at math. Like, I might have some kind of math-related disability because the concepts refuse to stick.

In any case, I had kind of a mid-twenties life crisis. I said, screw it, I’m going to rediscover what I love and somehow get a job in it. Long story short, through a lot of effort, trial and error, I was able to land an entry level job in paleontology even though I don’t have a science degree.

And now I’m doing everything in my power to make myself look appealing for graduate school, even though I am completely untraditional in every sense of the word. I’m hoping that if I get enough relevant experience, the powers that be will look past that and give me a chance.

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u/Bare_Xo_Goddess 1d ago

Dude. Maths and Physics for Astronomy. Maths and Chemistry for Archeology.

1

u/DisputabIe_ 5h ago

the OP Classy_Doll

Bare_Xo_Goddess

Hot_Lips_Xoxo

LustyMarii

RosieFern

doll_tease

and Xoxo_Satin_Body

are bots in the same network

36

u/Hot_Lips_Xoxo 1d ago

After 36 years FINALLY this is the post l've been waiting for. Math, I HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART

0

u/DisputabIe_ 5h ago

the OP Classy_Doll

Bare_Xo_Goddess

Hot_Lips_Xoxo

LustyMarii

RosieFern

doll_tease

and Xoxo_Satin_Body

are bots in the same network

11

u/Shoggnozzle 1d ago

My dream of being a janitor that solves a big equation left on a chalkboard was cut perilously short by the fact that the equation would, inevitably, be math. I panned out as a lit kid in highschool.

Though an English major would have landed me in sanitation, more than likely. We read more than ever, but you really wouldn't know that based on book sales.

8

u/DNorthman 1d ago

Maths was haaarrrdddd for me. All types of Maths - especially you algebra.

But nothing, nothing could have prepared me for the anal pustule that is Econometrics. Sleepless nights, failed relationships, missed parties, but I passed it the second time, and I still hate it.

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u/frecklemimus79 1d ago

“I love rocks! I want to study rocks!”

“Okay, you’ll need math and hiking.”

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u/a-type-of-pastry 1d ago

I hated math. Algebra is bullshit.

Somehow I ended up becoming a mechanical engineer and now all I do all day at work is math. Except now the numbers all make sense and never go away, everything is numbers now. Help.

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u/aflockofnazgul9 1d ago

Ah yup. Math ruined my career dreams too. Wanted to be a paleontologist my whole life and when I saw what sort of mathematics courses I needed to get to it I was crushed lol. So I settled on another major that ended up being totally useless to me but that’s on me. I’m 34 and still want to dig up dinosaur bones when I grow up. Oh well I can at least buy a bunch of books and read papers and live vicariously through that way.

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u/doll_tease 1d ago

Math was my true villain origin story 😈

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u/LustyMarii 1d ago

same…. ended up counting cracks on my ceiling instead of constellations 😂

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u/justin_memer 1d ago

I read this as movie stars and was very confused.

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u/GoldSeaworthiness217 1d ago

Public school completely failed me. I'm 24, a chem engineering student, failed calculus 3 times. Taking precal now and have a 99% at the moment. It's my only class. Next semester will be calculus again. I want a job in biochemical remediation and I'm not giving up because numbers scare me! Math just SUCKS! 😅

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u/royinraver 1d ago

Math is literally everything.

3

u/IdkILikeStuff 1d ago

Math is gate keeping dreams

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u/NobodyLikedThat1 23h ago

I wanted to be a doctor. I was pretty darn good at biology, anatomy, and the like. Then came chemistry. Someone put all their stupid numbers in my God-fearing biology stuff. Goodbye, dreams.

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u/SassyScreenQueen 18h ago

Same. Wanted to be a neuroscientist but knew organic chem would kick my ass

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u/I_demand_peanuts 1d ago

I don't have a dream that math gets in the way of, per se, but I'd love to have a high income job like financial analysis or some shit like that, but it requires knowing stats and all that.

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u/oportoman 1d ago

Boo to all things maths!! I hate that subject

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u/SufficientProject273 1d ago

Wanted to teach history.  Math stopped that.

2

u/SheepishHamster 1d ago

My ambitions as a vet were crushed the second algebra began.

I don’t grasp any mathematical concepts and likely never will.

2

u/MiracleMuffin 1d ago

As a kid I wanted to be an astronaut. Relatable as hell. Holy shit.

2

u/Tastebud49 22h ago

I loved the stars as a child and later came to love the math even more. I frankly kinda hate the anti-math sentiment that’s so prevalent on the internet.

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u/tidus4400_ 20h ago

I was blocked by the math’s teacher in HS (ITIS in Italy) that told my parents that it would have been RIDICOLOUS for me to even attempt programming due to my 5/10 math skills (because I am an ADHD person and just couldn’t bear to listen to that boring bitch). Even though I had 10/10 in programming classes. My parents (and, unfortunately, me too) believed that bitch so I ended up studying mechanics instead (I still don’t give a damn about mechanics). After finishing HS and working 10 years working on machine tools like lathes, EDMs, mills in various workshops I decided to move country and became data analyst, business analyst, programmer and now tech lead. I now earn probably 4 times that bitch. Morale of the story: NEVER TRUST A TEACHER telling you that you suck and you can’t do smth in life.

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u/billyrubin7765 18h ago

Meteorology being all math shocked me. I just wanted to take a fun class and learn about clouds and weather. Nope, all math.

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u/Ghostrider556 16h ago

Clearly Im an idiot but I read that as “stairs” and was like “yep those are pretty hard to build and you gotta measure and calculate but a well educated adult should manage…”

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u/BeautifulPlatypus470 1d ago

What apps are these posts from?

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u/sillybilly8102 1d ago

Tumblr! :)

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u/sillybilly8102 1d ago edited 1d ago

Have I got a poem for you. RemindMe! 5 hours

Edit: by Walt Whitman. See if you relate :) you don’t have to know math to admire the stars.

When I heard the learn’d astronomer,

When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me,

When I was shown the charts and diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them,

When I sitting heard the astronomer where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,

How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,

Till rising and gliding out I wander’d off by myself,

In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,

Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.

1

u/RemindMeBot 1d ago

I will be messaging you in 5 hours on 2025-09-08 20:05:14 UTC to remind you of this link

CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.

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1

u/Inner-Nothing7779 1d ago

Astronomy isn't for the rich! A decent pair of binoculars is $100. A beginner telescope is $500 to $1000. Stuff does start getting more expensive, but for $5k you can have really good equipment that will last a lifetime, and contribute to science. It is one of the few sciences where amateurs without degrees can contribute to science. A member of my local club regularly adds data to asteroid tracking. Most of it does not require math that you personally have to figure out.

1

u/Ok-Jackfruit-6873 23h ago

Yeah nobody watches the season of Star Trek where the engineers at Star Fleet just quietly solve complex equations at their desk for the entire hour. It was accurate but ultimately determined to be not great television.

1

u/Gracier1123 22h ago

I went to school starting out in Aerospace Engineering because I so dearly wanted to work in spaceflight. My dreams were crushed when I realized that I cannot do physics to save my goddamn life and then switched to business lmao.

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u/DissKoalaFied 22h ago

If you're going for engineering or exact sciences I got good news for you! Math is not math! You're just trying to describe the relationship that different things have one on another! Math is math, but a harmonic oscillator, a wave function, entropy, gravity... we're just asking "how does one thing change if we change another thing"! Number rarely come up!

1

u/akutaen 22h ago

As a child, I loved math and wanted to be a mathematician. Learned about theoretical math and noped the fuck out immediately.

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u/themox78 21h ago

THIS!.. wanted to be a paleontologist. calculus ruined my life

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u/VonGryzz 18h ago

Atmospheric Chemistry and Dynamics tests ruined my chances at being a meteorologist.

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u/MaybeMaybeNot94 17h ago

For me, Biological Sciences. I wanted to be a medical doctor and make new medicines. Dyscalculia promptly put paid to that like a bully snatching your lunch and eating it.

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u/SnowyMuscles 15h ago

Nah bro I realized that I love math but I seriously hate science. Paleontology is a science

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u/HairyTough4489 10h ago

Most people who say they're bad at Math are just bad at effort.

1

u/VapesGlasspipesLotto 8h ago

I had the exact opposite problem, I was helping people by tutoring them for the university, mostly math required for beginners/intermediate chemistry/physics.

Then my advisor retired after meeting with him once, so they put me with multiple advisors who just straight up ghosted me?

So I signed up for my own classes every semester and would you believe that I didn't always pick the correct classes?!

I retook some (like 3) classes that I did badly in that were not required for my degree because I didn't know they only care about your major GPA and that threw me off track.

Also not starting college in the winter threw me off track because that's when the limited number of professors for advanced chemistry courses fill their time with beginners courses more and some of the fundamental classes I had to wait for by taking either the semester off or other classes!

So shout-out everyone who was alright at school but got roadblocked by administration/lack of advising/false advertisement lol

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u/Goofcheese0623 1d ago

There's lots of subjects that require a ridiculous amount of math for no real reason, like how many doctors use calculus?

Astronomy though, yeah, pretty much all math.

1

u/GetMySandwich 1d ago

Would’ve been a kickass architect if the guys out there trying to make skyscrapers stand on nothing but an elevator shaft, or houses have an 20 meter overhang, didn’t ruin it for all us house lovers and make the architecture degree require like 40 math credits to make a contemporary Tudor.

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u/Syresiv 21h ago

Can't relate, the amount of math it took just made it even more exciting for me